It has not been Julie Alexandria's week.
It's based on Thompson's famous “The Kentucky Derby is Decadent And Depraved,” and it's great.
Source: @SinclairArt
Prints will be available for purchase next week.
Source: vimeo.com
H/T Whit Hiler at Kentucky For Kentucky.
Chandler Parsons feels terrible.
Via: Bill Baptist / Getty Images
LeRoy Butler took a stand on behalf of Collins.
Via: Al Messerschmidt / Getty Images
Seems like a weird way to spend your money, but to each his own!
Dance crazes do not faze Tommy Lasorda.
Via: Mark J. Terrill / AP
If you had to pick the best soccer players out of the current crop of elite NBA stars, these guys would be it.
Via: Claus Andersen / Getty Images
This is the time of year when America's attention turns to arguably the greatest athletes in the world competing for the NBA title using their seemingly superhuman blend of size, speed, strength, and grace. Meanwhile, the rest of the globe is transfixed by the conclusion of European football ("soccer") season, particularly the Champions League, the final of which is the equivalent of the Super Bowl for the billions who believe football should be played with feet. With these simultaneous sports climaxes come the annual barroom debate over which athletes of each sport could play the other.
Because soccer doesn't accommodate tall players except as strikers or central defenders — and even those are only shooting-guard size — it's not possible to compose a viable basketball team of Champions League footballers. As such, the argument turns to which basketball players possess the rare combination of body type, athleticism, mental focus, and vision necessary to play soccer at the highest level (if hypothetically plucked from their families as pre-teens and raised in European football academies, a la Lionel Messi and countless others). Instead of shoehorning the best NBA superstars like square pegs into the round holes of a soccer team, the following is a realistic set of ballers in this year's playoffs possessing the specific traits needed for each position on a football pitch.
(Note: excluded from this list are injured players not expected to return during the playoffs, like Rajon Rondo and Kobe Bryant, and those who haven't played all season, namely Derrick Rose. Included are players who made the postseason but whose teams have already been eliminated.)
#9, Striker: Russell Westbrook (6'3", 187 lb.) has all the physical gifts of revolutionary striker Didier Drogba in his prime, along with the direct attacking style and voracious scoring appetite required to lead a forward line in search of goals with the ball as well as on the end of crosses.
#7, Right Wing: Tony Parker (6'2", 185 lb.), a former soccer player whose incisive cuts and sure finishing around the hoop translate perfectly to attacking from the right touchline in the style of the controversial, ultra-talented Luis Suarez — both creating opportunities for teammates and contributing with goals.
#11, Left Wing: Brandon Jennings (6'1", 169 lb.) makes the starting lineup not just for his quick first step and attacking instincts, but also because soccer requires left-sided players that are naturally left-footed, which we can infer from him being one of the few southpaws in the playoffs.
#10, Center Midfield: Steve Nash (6'3", 178 lb.) is the most experienced footballer in the NBA. Every year at his annual NYC "Showdown in Chinatown," against top European soccer players, Nash displays the kind of vision and technical skills that could fill the void at his beloved Tottenham Hotspur left by Luka Modric's departure.
#6, Center Midfield: Chris Paul (6'0", 175 lb.) has the complete package physically, mentally, and as a team leader. His skills would make him the vital centerpiece of any winning eleven, pulling the strings on attack and man-marking on defense like a hybrid of the superbly deft passer Andrea Pirlo and physically prototypical defender Michael Essien.
#8, Center Midfield: Ty Lawson (5'11", 195 lb.) is probably the fastest player in the NBA and strong enough to hold his own in traffic. At the same time, he's focused enough on defending and passing to complement Paul in dominating possession in the middle third of the pitch and further forward.
#2, Right Back: Eric Bledsoe (6'1", 194 lb.) has the prototypical fullback-of-the-future build and athleticism of Micah Richards, combining the strength to muscle smaller players off the ball, the speed to get up and down the wing, and the defensive mindset to prevent anyone getting between him and his own goal.
#4, Center Back: Tony Allen (6'4", 213 lb.) has the size, muscle and single-minded defensive tenacity to be this team's Nemanja Vidic, inspiring fear in opposition attackers while keeping the box clear of threats on the pitch and in the air, the same way he protects the Grizzlies' lane against the NBA's best perimeter players.
#5, Center Back: Avery Bradley (6'2", 180 lb.) is the perfect partner to Allen, able to corral attacking players into ineffective positions as part of a team defensive scheme and then transition possession safely from the back before playing it to more creative players in the middle third.
#3, Left Back: Mike Conley (6'1", 185 lb.) is the only other lefty in the playoffs small enough to play as a fullback aside from Jennings and by far the better defender of the two, while still offering the pace to make overlapping attacking runs on the left touchline a la Patrice Evra. If Jennings passes to him, of course.
#1, Goalkeeper: Dwyane Wade (6'4", 220 lb.) has the wingspan, agility, and kamikaze body-sacrificing intensity to go and get the ball regardless of the risk involved or how far-ranging the cross into his box or shot on his goal happens to be. All the while, he would provide the vocal leadership to marshal his back line into shape.
The Bench of Honorable Mentions: James Harden (Striker), Steph Curry (Winger), Deron Williams (Center Midfield), Jeremy Lin (Center Midfield), Nate Robinson (Fullback), Andre Iguodala (Center Back), Iman Shumpert (Goalkeeper).
Manager: Phil Jackson is the only NBA coach who, if he were a football manager, could handle a team containing this many stars and huge egos. Jose Mourinho, having managed teams of superstars to championships at Chelsea and Real Madrid, is Jackson's football doppelganger; unfortunately, Mourinho is still employed with the Spanish giants for the remainder of the season, so he can't take the job.
Team Name: F.C. Silver Stern (named for the future and current overlord of the squad's talent)
Home Stadium: Seattle's CenturyLink Field, home of the Seahawks and Sounders, because Seattle is the city that both loves soccer and misses basketball more than any other in the country.
How would this hypothetical team of alternate-universe ballers-turned-footballers fare in this year's Champions League season?
Let's assume F.C. Silver Stern replace the most disappointing team in this year's competition: last year's champion, Chelsea, which didn't even make it out of the group stage. And let's assume that the extraordinary athletic talent of Silver Stern, Phil's calm managerial hand, and massive home-field advantage in Seattle would carry them safely through to the knockout round as a group winner. The first home and away tie would go smoothly enough, if only because the visiting team would struggle to get a goal against Silver Stern's back five after an incredibly long flight to Seattle, ensuring a clean sheet at home. Because attacking talent like Westbrook, Parker, Nash, and Paul should manufacture at least one away goal against a second-place team from one of the other groups, F.C. Silver Stern would move on.
But by the quarterfinals, the wheels would come off. The Zen Master, in a bid to make his players comfortable in Europe prior to the away leg, would foolishly repeat Sven Goran Eriksson's mistake at the 2006 World Cup team by allowing the team to bring along their wives and girlfriends ("WAGs") for the trip. Given the assortment of glamour models, actresses, and fashion bloggers dating the players, a WAG shopping trip, possibly in the context of filming one or more of their reality shows, would inevitably result in drama that then spills over to the pitch and completely destroys the team's chemistry. (European football has a proud tradition of this, so the Americans are just trying to fit in.) And the resulting deficit from the away leg would be too much to overcome on the return match in Seattle, where even the singing hordes of soccer fans who desperately wish their players were on a basketball court instead would not embolden F.C. Silver Stern's hopes enough to avoid crashing out of the tournament in the round of 8.
Where the “Special One” will be next season has been widely discussed. ITV doesn't seem to care though.
Source: youtube.com
Not surprisingly, ITV was trending on Twitter very quickly.
And this doesn't even include Space Jam .
At first the other coaches were like, "What the heck is going on?" But then the referee was all, "Ain't no rule says the dog can't play basketball." And the rest, as they say, is history.
As long as you can dunk (and breakdance), nobody will care if you're a werewolf. In fact, transforming into a werewolf is one of the best things you can do in basketball.
Lil' Bow Wow is a 14-year-old orphan with moves like Michael Jordan. Because of this, the NBA bent their eligibility rules to let him enter the league. And the reward for their generosity was sweet. Just look at that dunk!
Want to sing in the middle of a basketball game? Well, look no further than the musical theater league. To quote the great Troy Bolton, "We're all in this together." Say word, Troy.
It's not easy turning an out into a home run.
Via: Al Bello / AP
Totally normal.
H/T Dom Cosentino at Deadspin.
Also, mocked for being snowglobe-collectors?
Per Greg Wyshynski of Yahoo's Puck Daddy, the Green Men are regulars at Canucks games, and they spend most of their time tormenting opponents in the penalty box.
This means the team is a fan of Parks and Recreation , right?
Source: Mark Sullivan / WireImage
Source: Mark Sullivan / WireImage
Source: Mark Sullivan / WireImage
Source: Mark Sullivan / WireImage
They'll ruin all your memories.
And he's been out for two months.
Via: Justin Edmonds / Getty Images
When Jason Collins came out on Monday, the major reason it was a media-dominating news event was that he became the first active male player in the four major American professional leagues to publicly identify as gay while still playing the game. Although Collins is no longer under contract with an NBA team, he appears to still consider himself a professional basketball player, meaning he'll seek employment again next season; if he'll get his wish remains to be seen, but it's far from inconceivable.
However, whether Collins plays in the NBA or not in 2013-14, he may get beaten to the punch as far as being the first openly gay male athlete to play professional sports — if we include the MLS. And we should: At this point, the MLS is the third-most attended sport in the U.S., ahead of both the NBA and the NHL. (Of course, this isn't a one-to-one comparison; the Seattle Sounders average in attendance double what most NBA stadiums can hold at maximum capacity.)
On Feb. 15, Robbie Rogers, a speedy winger who had played 18 games for the U.S. Men's National Team as well as stints in the top Dutch league, MLS, and Britain's second-highest league, abruptly came out as gay and retired from soccer. Because Rogers both played in Europe at the time and announced his coming out in tandem with his retirement, the news didn't carry the same weight as it might have had he been an active member of an American sports league pledging to remain active now that his sexual orientation was public. That being said, it still made an imprint on both the American and European sports communities, and the American national side lost a player who would have been in the mix for the team.
But Rogers' retirement, which he couched in terms of needing to put personal concerns over soccer for the first time in his life — very understandable — appears to be over. One of the countless fascinating details of the saga surrounding Jason Collins' public coming-out was an anecdote in cowriter Franz Lidz's follow-up the day after: "'But some people would put soccer up there too, and Robbie Rogers has already blazed a trail there,' [Collins said.] ... The recently retired and now recently unretired Rogers, who phoned Collins yesterday while driving to a Los Angeles Galaxy tryout, said, 'It feels a little weird to congratulate you for being honest.'
That was the first anyone had heard of Rogers' unretirement — a scoop within a scoop — and on Wednesday, the news was confirmed: Rogers is training with the Galaxy.
Via: instagram.com
Don't do drugs, kids. You might end up on a bobblehead someday.
Odds-on crazy for the win. Pass the mint julep.
Via: Jamey Price / Getty Images
Via: Jeff Haynes / Reuters
Via: Rob Carr / Getty Images
Via: Jeff Haynes / Reuters
Justice is a team sport. A team with a bunch of quarterbacks.
Back in 2011, DirecTV introduced us to "Football Cops," starring Peyton and Eli Manning as Mike Tahoe and C.J. Hunter — two former pro quarterbacks who left the league to come back and protect the streets they once called home.
But what that commercial failed to do was explore what it'd be like if more quarterbacks entered this world, and that's where we come in.
Nothing says #swag like dorm life.
