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NFL Legend Says Tebow Couldn't Even Hack It In Canada

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Poor Timmy.

Since being cut by the Jets, the most important debate* in sports has been whether or not Tim Tebow will play in the NFL next season.

Since being cut by the Jets, the most important debate* in sports has been whether or not Tim Tebow will play in the NFL next season.

*According to ESPN.

Via: David Welker / Getty Images

Over the course of the past week Tebow has received offers from the Omaha Beef indoor football team for $75 a game, the Lingerie League to be quarterback's coach and the CFL's Montreal Alouettes to compete for a back-up position.

Via: Al Bello / Getty Images

Many pundits think he'll end up in the Canadian Football League, but former NFL and CFL star Warren Moon doesn't think he'll have much success north of the the boarder either.


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La La Anthony Is A More Important NBA Player Than Jordan Crawford

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Let the Twitter feud begin!

Via: Dimitrios Kambouris / Getty Images

Following the Celtics' victory last night, Jordan Crawford made some remarks to Carmelo Anthony, fueling a small scuffle at the end of the game as the players were exiting the court. What exactly Crawford said is still up for debate, but according to Deadspin, the words, "That motherfucker fucked your wife" might be involved.

The backstory here is that Kevin Garnett allegedly told Melo that La La tastes like Honey Nut Cheerios. (Normal!) Melo shrugged it off: "I'm not thinking about no Jordan Crawford. Not at this point in time. I'll tell you that. I don't even think he deserves for you to be typing right now." And La La fired back.


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11 Things Sonics Fans Can Do To Get Revenge On David Stern

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Seattle despises David Stern. Here are some ways they can get even and punish the Seattle-hating NBA commissioner.

This Is David Stern.

This Is David Stern.

Source: globalbasketball.com

David Stern Is In The Process of Breaking Seattle's Hearts Yet Again

David Stern Is In The Process of Breaking Seattle's Hearts Yet Again

Source: thehusker.com

Here Are 11 Ways Sonics Fans Can Get Revenge On David Stern And Make Him Sad

Here Are 11 Ways Sonics Fans Can Get Revenge On David Stern And Make Him Sad

Source: a.espncdn.com

1. Make Him Sit Through 50 Boring Mariners Games

1. Make Him Sit Through 50 Boring Mariners Games

Source: blog.seattlepi.com


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NFL Player On Gay Athletes: "I Don't Want To Teach My Kids Those Things."

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“You don't have to show it and flaunt it like that.”

In an awkward interview with ESPN on the issue of gay athletes, Falcons star Asante Samuel brought up a few obnoxious straw man arguments.

In an awkward interview with ESPN on the issue of gay athletes, Falcons star Asante Samuel brought up a few obnoxious straw man arguments.

Um... As long as gay people play sports, there is a combination.

Via: David Goldman / AP

Yeah. Because your experience as a member of the majority totally qualifies you to talk about how a minority group feels.

Via: Scott Cunningham / Getty Images

Translation: It's okay to be gay, but I don't have to know, do I?

Via: Duane Burleson / AP

Because explaining to a child that two people love each other is such a terrifying thought.

Via: Gregory Shamus / Getty Images


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How Google Glass Will Make Sports Better (And More Insufferable)

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A breakaway goal from Sidney Crosby's eyes? A soaring dunk from Kobe's point-of-view? It's only a matter of time.

Source: youtube.com

Credit Google for making something that's years old seem brand new again. The ability to record head-mounted POV footage is nothing especially revolutionary, but when it costs $1,500 and makes you feel like a fighter pilot on the streets of your neighborhood, there's some excitement to be felt.

And now that Google Glass is starting to get some time in the general population, we're starting to see how it's going to impact our viewing habits—or, more precisely, what the Next Great Sports Gimmick™ is going to look like. If this tech works as advertised, and is only (cough) going to sell for $1,500, then sports fans are going to see this implemented everywhere imaginable. At first, it'll be limited to fringe-y exhibition events. You can bet this summer's Home Run Derby will feature some combination of catcher, batter, and/or pitcher wearing the devices. Next year's NBA Slam Dunk Contest, which is where all the sports stunts eventually come to roost, will almost assuredly feature one of the participants wearing the tech. (As for who it will be, you can submit your guesses now.) The NHL's Skills Competition, quarterbacks in the Pro Bowl, and pretty much any referee in any sport are all fair game. Kentucky Derby jockeys? Probably not enough advance notice to get them into this weekend's go-around, but there's always next year.

Although, we could be completely sick of this a year from now, the novelty of the imagery completely worn away. In fact, there's a very good chance, should all this multi-sport saturation come to pass, that we'll be over this kind of application in short order. What started out with surfers, bikers, and snowboarders with GoPro head mounts has turned into something much more ubiquitous and hip. But fads, even cool ones, come and go, and frankly, once you see one first-person video of LeBron going coast to coast on a breakaway, you'll essentially have seen them all.

But let's enjoy the trend while it holds our attention. We may know what's coming, but, for now, we'll watch.

Source: youtube.com

h/t Gizmodo and Jeff Beckham


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19 People Who Will Make You Feel Better About Your Complete Lack Of Athletic Ability

Ryan Lochte Just Said The Weirdest Thing About Abraham Lincoln

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It involves “mad swag.”

Per Grantland's Molly Lambert, well-groomed amphibian Ryan Lochte had this to say to US Weekly regarding his, and America's, favorite President, Abraham Lincoln (sorry, Frank Pierce):

Per Grantland's Molly Lambert , well-groomed amphibian Ryan Lochte had this to say to US Weekly regarding his, and America's, favorite President, Abraham Lincoln (sorry, Frank Pierce):

Via: Mark Von Holden / AP

Don't worry, Ryan: you rock that top hat nicely, too.

The Best Way To Mess With The Westboro Baptist Church

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The Westboro Baptist Church protested last night's Oklahoma City-Houston NBA Playoff game in protest of Jason Collins' coming out. But this guy had the right idea.

So how do you mess with the Westboro Baptist Church?

Like this:

If there's one thing that makes the WBC uncomfortable it's an attractive man, who is not wearing a lot of clothes.

If there's one thing that makes the WBC uncomfortable it's an attractive man, who is not wearing a lot of clothes.

Via: Christian Petersen / Getty Images


Make-A-Wish Kids Beat An MLS Team In The Most Heartwarming Soccer Game Ever

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Ahhhhhhhhh my soullllllllll

The Portland Timbers MLS team faced their stiffest competition of the season recently: the Green Machine soccer team, starring Atticus Lane-Dupre, an eight-year-old cancer patient.

The Portland Timbers MLS team faced their stiffest competition of the season recently: the Green Machine soccer team, starring Atticus Lane-Dupre, an eight-year-old cancer patient.

According to Deadspin, a remarkable 3,000 fans turned out to see the game, which was arranged by Make-A-Wish.

According to Deadspin, a remarkable 3,000 fans turned out to see the game , which was arranged by Make-A-Wish.

It started off cordially with some handshakes, but you could tell the Timbers were nervous.

It started off cordially with some handshakes, but you could tell the Timbers were nervous.

And the Green Machine, led by Atticus, started off strong early.

And the Green Machine, led by Atticus, started off strong early.


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Chicago Cubs Player Pretends To Get Hit By A Pitch And Fails Miserably

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A for effort, though!

Via: David Banks / Getty Images

Faking an injury or flopping for a call is nothing new in sports. It happens all the time in soccer and basketball, but the chance for baseball players to join in on the fun doesn't come around too often. Which is why Cubs outfielder Julio Borbon took advantage when the opportunity presented itself.

With the Cubs down 4-2 in the 8th inning, on a 1-2 count, Borbon appeared to get hit by a pitch...

With the Cubs down 4-2 in the 8th inning, on a 1-2 count, Borbon appeared to get hit by a pitch...

About five seconds too late.

About five seconds too late.


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Which Athlete Makes More Money?

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A.k.a. the most depressing quiz you'll ever take.

All of the answers are based solely on each player's current, or in the NFL's case, most recent season salary. Signing bonuses and endorsement deals are NOT factored in.

A Season With America's Worst Professional Baseball Team

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An excerpt from The Atavist's newest original single, The Legends of Last Place .

Another monsoon. The rain beats against the grandstand, drowning out John Fogerty's growl on the aging Fort Marcy Park sound system. There aren't many people here yet, a couple dozen fans but few of the regulars—no sign of the lefty pitcher's brother or the guy who carves the big wooden Virgin Mary statues. The home team sprints off the field toward us, 25 young men slipping over concrete in metal cleats and trying to beat the storm. Their jerseys, made of thin red mesh, read SANTA FE. The grandstand is the only shelter at Fort Marcy, so all of us, players and spectators, huddle together listening to the rain. It's the last home game of the 2012 season. The summer's final batting practice is a washout.

The fans do not whisper when the players flop down next to us. No autographs are sought. The Santa Fe Fuego are the newest addition to the Pecos League, a group of six independent minor league baseball teams in Texas, Colorado, and New Mexico. The players earn $54 per week and live in homestays with Santa Fe families. They use the same bathroom as the fans, a small concrete cave. (At least there are doors on the stalls now, a recent development; for most of the summer, curtains provided the only privacy.) Later tonight, after the crowd has left, the players will scour the grandstand for trash, collecting stray napkins and mashed foil containers holding the remnants of our $3 burgers. There are no grounds crews in the Pecos League.

The Fuego sip from outsize gas-station soda cups and work their way through thick wads of chewing tobacco, waiting for the game to begin. Though players cycle through the Pecos League with revolving-door regularity, I've been following the Fuego long enough now—since the beginning of their debut season—to know the ones who've stuck around. There's Brandon Thompson, a mountainous, hard-throwing reliever from Montana, who looks as though he should be hauling some large vehicle in a strongman competition. There's Andrew "Archie" Archbold, the quick center fielder, with his bad goatee that doesn't entirely link up at his bony chin. His jersey dangles off him as if from a hanger. Bill Moore, the Fuego's manager, says that Archie "weighs 120 pounds when he's got rocks in his pocket and it's raining." It's raining.

Late July is monsoon season in northern New Mexico. Storms gather over the Sangre de Cristo Mountains in the afternoon, then dissipate or roll in and briefly batter the town, cooling the high desert. Tonight's opposition, the Roswell Invaders, a far superior team by every statistical measure, don't join us under the grandstand. They huddle beneath the small roof of the visiting dugout, getting wet. Call it a home-field advantage.

The pounding eventually lets up and sun filters through the clouds, filling the sky with the kind of wild light that helps fuel Santa Fe's economy, drawing second-homers and tourists who come to paint watercolors of the evenings. More fans arrive. The Invaders emerge from the visiting dugout in jerseys the color of antifreeze. Archie sprints to center, leading the home team onto the field for the last time this summer.

With the exception of the center fielder, the Fuego are big, powerful men who do not embody the Platonic ideal of athleticism. They fill out their uniforms in the belly and ass. They are strong hitters, with the second-best batting average in the league. Defense is the chink in their armor. The Fuego's pitchers have, on average, given up nearly one run for every inning of the season; their cumulative earned-run average is more than 8.00. (A good major league pitcher's is around 3.00.) The fielding has been a bounty of errors. July was particularly merciless. The Fuego have lost 16 of their last 23 games.

The players like to point out that many of these losses came by one run. They like to say that with a break here or there, things might have turned out differently. But blind pride is a job requirement for athletes, and no amount of it can sway the hard fact that the Fuego have an anaconda grip on last place in the Pecos League.


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What An Insanely Close Call With A Skate Blade Looks Like

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Brandon Prust must have gone to bed last night feeling very lucky.

Last night, Brandon Prust of the Montreal Canadiens came this close to getting slashed in the face by a skate blade.

Last night, Brandon Prust of the Montreal Canadiens came this close to getting slashed in the face by a skate blade.

Via: Jean-Yves Ahern-USA TODAY Sports

Enhance...

Enhance...

Enhance...

Enhance...

Enhance.

Enhance.


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Is This A Real 2013 Kentucky Derby Horse Name?

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Some of these horses will be competing in the Kentucky Derby this Saturday. Can you guess which ones are fake?

Is This Kid The Most Adorable Photobomber Of All-Time?

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The answer you're looking for is “yes.”

Unless Charles Barkley is involved, an NBA post-game show is the last place you'd expect something interesting to happen. However, if you were watching the Houston Rockets post-game show this past Wednesday, you witnessed to the cutest photobomb in human history.

"Blah blah blah... wait, what's that over his shoulder?"

"Blah blah blah... wait, what's that over his shoulder?"

"Who's baby is that?"

"Who's baby is that?"

"What's he doin... why's he not wearing pants?!"

"What's he doin... why's he not wearing pants?!"


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Sneak Peek Inside Jay Cutler's Intense Off-Season Workouts

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Seriously, who knew?

Jay Cutler catches a lot of flack from Chicago Bears fans for his attitude.

Via: Jonathan Daniel / Getty Images

Sportswriters knock his toughness.

Via: Jonathan Daniel / Getty Images


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Dogs Are Taking Over Baseball

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THERE ARE DOGS EVERYWHERE

Via: Ronald Martinez / Getty Images

Thursday night was Dog Night at Rangers Ballpark. There were 689 dogs there. Six-hundred and eighty-nine dogs. Here, we've ranked four cool dogs in ascending order of coolness.

Very rebellious dog. A free spirit. Yearns to be a Famous Dog.

Very rebellious dog. A free spirit. Yearns to be a Famous Dog.


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NBA Player Gets A Spinal Tap, Twitter Calls Him A "Pussy"

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Clearly, these people have never had fluid drained from their spine with a needle.

Luol Deng, one of the most important players on the shorthanded Chicago Bulls, missed last night's game against the Nets for a very good reason: he had a spinal tap to test for viral meningitis during the day.

He had a spinal tap and HE STILL TRIED TO PLAY. They sent him home prior to tip-off. Repeat: Deng wanted to play. And he took to Twitter today to clarify things.

He had a spinal tap and HE STILL TRIED TO PLAY. They sent him home prior to tip-off. Repeat: Deng wanted to play. And he took to Twitter today to clarify things.

As in, they stuck a needle into his spine to drain fluid. Everyone who's ever had one of these, or knows someone who has, knows that it is NOT a fun experience. And sometimes they have after-effects.

As in, they stuck a needle into his spine to drain fluid. Everyone who's ever had one of these, or knows someone who has, knows that it is NOT a fun experience. And sometimes they have after-effects.


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BREAKING: Here's A Picture Of Craig Sager Dressed Like A Normal Human

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Oh my GOD.

Craig Sager, TNT's sideline man, is known for one thing and one thing primarily: his ridiculous, eclectic array of suits and ties.

Craig Sager, TNT's sideline man, is known for one thing and one thing primarily: his ridiculous, eclectic array of suits and ties.

Source: jpmoore

They run the gamut from pea-green and paisley to the color blue your blood probably is before you bleed it.

They run the gamut from pea-green and paisley to the color blue your blood probably is before you bleed it.

Source: jpmoore

Or — hell, I don't know. Some colors aren't meant to be described by words; they're meant to be described by how far your eyes recede into your head when you look upon them.

Or — hell, I don't know. Some colors aren't meant to be described by words; they're meant to be described by how far your eyes recede into your head when you look upon them.

Source: s3-ec.buzzfed.com

On that note, sports fans just received one of the greatest shocks of their lives:


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The Hilarious And Bizarre Canadian "SportsCentre" Anchors Are Coming To America

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It's not clear what their new gig is, but it's going to be in the states, so it's time to celebrate.

Jay Onrait and Dan O'Toole are Canadian national treasures. The two TSN SportsCentre anchors have had many an amazing clip package go viral in their time in the anchor chairs.

But the two anchors have decided to leave TSN and Canada in general for... LOS ANGELES.

Which means sports fans in the states are in for moments like this:

Which means sports fans in the states are in for moments like this:

And this one:

And this one:


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