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This Is What Complete Football Annihilation Looks Like

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The Seattle Seahawks beat the Arizona Cardinals 58-0 today. Here are all the Seahawks' touchdowns in one handy supercut.

The Seattle Seahawks beat the Arizona Cardinals 58-0 today. That's the second-largest margin of victory in the Super Bowl era, behind 59-0 wins by the Los Angeles Rams in 1976 and the New England Patriots in 2009. How did this happen? Well, the Cardinals turned the ball over eight times, including four interceptions by quarterback John Skelton, and the Seahawks scored basically at will. For proof, just check out this supercut of every Seahawks touchdown — two off of turnovers, four rushing, and one passing. (I left out the two field goals, because they're field goals.)

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Remember when the Cardinals started the season 4-0? Yeah, neither do they.


Mitt Romney Causes Boxing Legend Manny Pacquiao To Get His Ass Kicked

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Probably.

On Saturday, Manny Pacquiao and Juan Manuel Marquez had their fourth fight against each other.

On Saturday, Manny Pacquiao and Juan Manuel Marquez had their fourth fight against each other.

Image by Julie Jacobson / AP

Before the fight, Mitt Romney introduced himself to Pacquiao and put his bad Mitt Romney juju all over him.

Before the fight, Mitt Romney introduced himself to Pacquiao and put his bad Mitt Romney juju all over him.

Source: @nytbishop

The two fighters have fought close matches before (a draw and two Pacquaio wins), but Marquez had never actually beaten Pacquiao.

The two fighters have fought close matches before (a draw and two Pacquaio wins), but Marquez had never actually beaten Pacquiao.

Image by Steve Marcus / Reuters

Until Saturday.

Until Saturday.

Image by Julie Jacobson / AP


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Every One Of Lionel Messi's Record 86 Goals In 2012

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Get out the popcorn.

On Sunday, Lionel Messi broke Gerd Mueller's 40-year-old record for most goals in a calendar year, scoring two in a Barcelona win to bring his 2012 total to 86. Here is every single one of them.

Perhaps the most remarkable thing about Messi's incredible 86-goal haul is how many of those were relatively easy finishes (for him, at least). His positional awareness relative to the defenders around him — and the considerable passing acumen of his Barcelona teammates — means Messi rarely scores from from low-percentage areas outside the penalty box. The goals just come to him.

Barcelona still has 3 matches to play before 2013 begins, so Messi could easily break 90.

7 Photos Of Filipino Manny Pacquiao Fans Shocked By His Loss

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Their native son lost to Juan Manuel Marquez on Saturday, spoiling some giant watch parties.

Image by Aaron Favila / AP

Image by Aaron Favila / AP

Image by Jay Directo / Getty Images

Image by Jay Directo / Getty Images


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There's A New Worst Free Throw Ever

Novak Djokovic Bought A Year's Supply Of The World's Most Expensive Cheese

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We're not Djoking.

Image by Andy Wong / AP

This is Pule, the world's most expensive cheese. Novak Djokovic just bought all of it.

This is Pule, the world's most expensive cheese. Novak Djokovic just bought all of it.

Novak Djokovic, the number-one tennis player in the world and budding restaurateur, bought the entire 2013 supply of Pule in order to supply his chain of Serbian restaurants. Pule is a white, crumbly Serbian cheese, which costs an astronomical £800 a kilogram, equivalent to $584 dollars per pound. Djokovic will sell the cheese at his Novak Cafe & Restaurant locations, which are spreading across Serbia.

The cheese is made from the milk of a few select Balkan donkeys living on a nature reserve.

The cheese is made from the milk of a few select Balkan donkeys living on a nature reserve.

Via: en.wikipedia.org


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Adorable NFL Gangnam Style Kid Is Adorable

Stephen Jackson Fined For Saying Serge Ibaka "Ain't Bout Dis Life"

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He tweeted it, then deleted it. If there's been a better Twitter diss, I haven't seen it.

Image by Darren Abate / AP

Stephen Jackson, who says he "definitely enjoyed" punching a fan back in the Malice at the Palace, delivered the best Twitter insult in the history of Twitter insults to Serge Ibaka a few days ago.

Somebody tel serg Abaka. He aint bout dis life. Next time he run up on me im goin in his mouth. That's a promise. He doin 2 much

The tweet was sent in defense of former teammate and partner-in-fighting-fans Metta World Peace, who combined with Ibaka for a double-tech on Friday. Jackson deleted his barb, which is a pity, because it’s pretty much perfect.

1. He badly misspelled Serge Ibaka’s name, which shows that he doesn’t respect Ibaka and thinks that Ibaka looks like a guy who might be named Serg. (For example.)

2. He mangled the syntax of the sentence. By separating the imperative “Somebody tel serg Abaka” from the message “He aint bout dis life,” Jackson demonstrates that, as a dude, he’s too busy being about dis life to properly construct his insults.

3. He actually says that Serge Ibaka “aint bout dis life” when, in fact, Serge Ibaka is very much about dis life.

4. The sentence “Next time he run up on me im goin in his mouth” is the weirdest way I’ve ever heard someone threaten to punch another person in the face.

5. “He doin 2 much.” Too much of what? Because Jackson deleted the tweet, we’ll never know.

Jackson was fined $25,000 for this tweet, which is understandable, since it’s a direct threat made against a coworker. It’s also a bit ridiculous, since Tim Duncan and Tony Parker actually pointed pretend guns at a pretend NBA ref and got away scot-free. But Jackson has a bit of a checkered reputation thanks to the fight in Indiana — which, remember, happened a full eight years ago — and the league isn’t going to let him get away with anything bearing any shades of violence.

That said: Stephen Jackson is about this life.


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23 Images That Tell The Legendary Tale Of Bryant "Big Country" Reeves

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A long time ago, when goofy white centers ruled the NBA, Bryant Reeves was the goofiest and the whitest.

Ladies and gentlemen: The most iconic NBA nickname of the past quarter-century!

Ladies and gentlemen: The most iconic NBA nickname of the past quarter-century!

Via: nobodybeatsthegrizz

The nickname 'Big Country' was born during Reeves' freshman season in college after he was awed by his first cross-country flight.

The nickname 'Big Country' was born during Reeves' freshman season in college after he was awed by his first cross-country flight.

Via: thegrandarchives

Unlimited ginger ale and peanuts must have had quite the effect on him.

Unlimited ginger ale and peanuts must have had quite the effect on him.

Fuck yeah, airplanes!

Via: hakeemmutombo

He was a two-time All-American at Oklahoma St and led the Cowboys to the 1995 Final Four.

He was a two-time All-American at Oklahoma St and led the Cowboys to the 1995 Final Four.

Via: thegrandarchives


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The Patriots Have Given Us Two Tremendous Celebration GIFs

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Aaron Hernandez is running wild in the first half of Monday Night Football against the Houston Texans, and he's celebrating accordingly.

Tonight's Monday Night Football matchup between the Patriots and the Texans was supposed to be a battle of the AFC's two best teams. Instead, through the first half it's been a massacre. New England leads 21-0, and two of those touchdowns came via tight end Aaron Hernandez, whose importance has only risen in the wake of Rob Gronkowski's injury.

Fittingly, Hernandez has celebrated both scores with stellar celebrations. After the first, which came on a 7-yard reception out of the backfield — it also followed a New England fumble that Hernandez recovered — Hernandez did rapper Lil B's signature cooking dance, followed by a little of that making it rain.

After the next score, which came on an uncovered 4-yard reception, Hernandez played a little dice, then made it rain with his gambling revenue.

After the next score, which came on an uncovered 4-yard reception, Hernandez played a little dice, then made it rain with his gambling revenue.


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The Patriots Scored A Touchdown By Fumbling Into The End Zone

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You don't see this every day.

The Patriots were already up 35-7 going into the fourth quarter against the AFC-leading Texans when Tom Brady threw a dump-off pass to Danny Woodhead out of the backfield.

The Patriots were already up 35-7 going into the fourth quarter against the AFC-leading Texans when Tom Brady threw a dump-off pass to Danny Woodhead out of the backfield.

Woodhead, a tiny running back known for his agility, makes a few guys miss and turns the play into a nice gain.

Woodhead, a tiny running back known for his agility, makes a few guys miss and turns the play into a nice gain.

However, the Texans' tremendous defensive lineman, J.J. Watt, comes from behind and forces a fumble. HOWEVER however, Patriot Brandon Lloyd recovers it in the end zone. Weird touchdown!

However, the Texans' tremendous defensive lineman, J.J. Watt, comes from behind and forces a fumble. HOWEVER however, Patriot Brandon Lloyd recovers it in the end zone. Weird touchdown!

The Pats score through a combination of luck — the ball takes a perfect bounce — and a heads-up play by Lloyd, who gets going as soon as Woodhead fumbles.

The Pats score through a combination of luck — the ball takes a perfect bounce — and a heads-up play by Lloyd, who gets going as soon as Woodhead fumbles.


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Fighting A Tiny Referee: How Not To Look Tough In The NBA

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Toronto's Amir Johnson is such a tough dude.

Last night, 6'9" Amir Johnson decided to throw his 210lbs around with referee David Jones.

Last night, 6'9" Amir Johnson decided to throw his 210lbs around with referee David Jones.

David Jones is basically a little old man.

It started with a simple free throw.

It started with a simple free throw.

Amir Johnson went to rebound, but David Jones already retrieved the ball, which is what Jones is supposed to do. Refs have to throw the ball to the shooter before a free throw.

Amir Johnson went to rebound, but David Jones already retrieved the ball, which is what Jones is supposed to do. Refs have to throw the ball to the shooter before a free throw.

Amir Johnson decided he wanted it anyway, so he wrestled Jones for it and got in his face.

Amir Johnson decided he wanted it anyway, so he wrestled Jones for it and got in his face.


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NBA Star/Weirdo Andrew Bynum Explains His Terrible, Crazy Hair

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Finally, answers!

Remember a few weeks ago when we brought you photos of Andrew Bynum's Hair somehow transforming from this...

Remember a few weeks ago when we brought you photos of Andrew Bynum's Hair somehow transforming from this...

(Reuters Pictures)
A glorious, wondrous afro.

To this?

To this?

A disaster

Well now we have answers thanks to Dan Gelston of the Associated Press.

Well now we have answers thanks to Dan Gelston of the Associated Press.

Source: @APgelston

So this is what he was going for.

So this is what he was going for.


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Top 10 Best Blake Griffin Faces

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Blake Griffin is a world renowned athlete. These are faces he makes and the situations in which he makes them.

When he's suddenly and cripplingly afraid of heights:

When he finds a beard buddy:

When he forgets how to do the "Home Alone" face:

When he's the youngest person at a 40th Birthday party:


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20 Preposterous '80s Sports Posters

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These posters are the pinnacle of human artistic achievement.

Karl Malone- Special Delivery

Karl Malone- Special Delivery

What made Karl Malone think a basketball could fit inside a mailbox? Just leave it on the front porch brah!

Brian Bosworth - The Land of the Boz

Brian Bosworth - The Land of the Boz

In the Land of Boz, Dorothy is now over 18 and getting fresh with the Boz.

Lawrence Taylor – The Terminator

Lawrence Taylor – The Terminator

Performance-enhancing lasers.

Jim Everett- General Blade

Jim Everett- General Blade

Jim Everett, a crossover athlete who blurred the lines between sports posters and pornos.


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Tennis Pro Imitates Serena Williams With Stuffed Boobs And Butt

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Caroline Wozniacki says she was having fun, but the Dane has been accused of racism for mocking her friend's curvy figure.

Image by Andre Penner / AP

Caroline Wozniacki, the 22-year-old Dane ranked 10th in the world, teased American Serena Williams (ranked third) during a recent match against Maria Sharapova in Brazil, stuffing towels down her outfit to imitate Williams' curves.

In a press conference after the game, Wozniacki explainined the Brazil crowd is always "open and they have a lot of fun."

Not everyone enjoyed the joke. From Feministing:

Making fun of somebody’s body is inappropriate, sexist, offensive and problematic. But given the history and current-day context of racialized standards of beauty, and the hypersexualization of people of color, when a white woman makes fun of a black women’s body, especially in a way that hypersexualizes her and draws on the stereotype of black women’s big butts, it’s racist.

Image by Andre Penner / AP


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The Best Sports Memes Of 2012

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The photogenic marathoner, the unimpressed gymnast, and other memes that made for a chuckle-filled 2012.

McKayla Is Not Impressed

McKayla Is Not Impressed

The breakout star of the 2012 Olympics was McKayla Maroney and her stinkface.

See more here.

Scumbag ESPN

Scumbag ESPN

The Worldwide Leader faces a lot of criticism. Scumbag ESPN is a good delivery mechanism for these complaints.

See more here.

Ridiculously Photogenic Guy

Ridiculously Photogenic Guy

The most famous marathoner of the year. Marathons are sports. This counts.

See more here.

Source: quickmeme.com

The US Women's Gymnastics Team As Mean Girls

The US Women's Gymnastics Team As Mean Girls

They definitely were the cool kids at this year's Olympics, and this captured the vibe some of the girls gave off. ("Some of the girls" = McKayla Maroney)

See more here.

Source: @McKaylaMaroney


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Baseball Card Vandals Is The Best New Tumblr

Science Proves That Notre Dame Was The Luckiest Team In The Country

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Well, our creative interpretation of science, at least. Undefeated Ohio State had some pretty good fortune as well.

Image by Winslow Townson, File / AP

Notre Dame and Ohio State both polished off undefeated regular seasons in style with big wins over rival schools. Both of those games were relatively close, a recurring theme for each squad on the year. Each had a few obviously lucky breaks go their way: Pitt missed an easy field goal that would've beaten Notre Dame, while Ohio State needed overtime to beat Purdue and edged woeful Indiana by only three points. And it turns out that the numbers bear out the suspicion that other than luck there's not much that separates them from other top-tier teams: specifically, a user at Michigan fan site MGoBlog ran a statistical study which found out that Notre Dame and Ohio State finished the year as two of the nation's top five luckiest teams. His calculations use a modified version of the "Pythagorean" system that might be familiar to baseball fans, which uses runs scored and allowed to figure out how sustainable a team's success is. (I.e. if your favorite team is allowing as many runs as they're scoring but winning at a 65% clip, they're probably getting lucky.)

The findings: Ball State was technically the luckiest team in the nation. The Cardinals scored just 42 points more than they allowed over the course of the year — a number that would usually characterize a team close to .500 — but won a slew of close games to finish 9-3. Ohio State was the second-luckiest and Notre Dame fourth. Other teams with 2012-Notre-Dame-level performance, the study found, won an average of 9.9 games, while teams that performed like 2012 Ohio State won 9.5. But lucky wins which land you an undefeated season have to be considered luckier to those which land you at 9-3 (or 8-4, like technically-third-luckiest Mississippi State). And undefeated seasons which land you in the national title game must be worth more than undefeated seasons after which you don't play a bowl game because your previous coach was a cheater. So, it's safe to declare that Notre Dame was not only one of the best teams of 2012, but the luckiest. Just another example of the famous "Outperformance Of Pythagorean Calculations Of The Irish," we suppose.

The Knicks-Nets Rivalry Is Basically Just People Sneering At You

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If you want to cheer for one of these teams, better put on a New York scowl.

The New York Knicks of Manhattan and the Brooklyn Nets of Brooklyn are playing each other tonight in the Barclays Center of Brooklyn, not to be confused with the Madison Square Garden of Manhattan. Both of these teams are from New York City, and, if ESPN's telecast is any indication, both are very tough.

I mean, look at this guy.

I mean, look at this guy.

He is

1. sneering at you
2. pointing at his Nets hat
3. riding a scooter
4. riding a scooter through a dark alleyway
5. riding a scooter through a dark alleyway past a mural of the Notorious B.I.G.

This man means business.

Knicks fans can do it too.

Knicks fans can do it too.

This gentleman is

1. sneering at you
2. pointing at the Knicks badge on his jacket
3. shaking his head as he sneers at you
4. wearing very hostile glasses

Third, we have another Nets fan, this one female and the toughest of them all.

Third, we have another Nets fan, this one female and the toughest of them all.

She is

1. sneering at you, upraised lip-corner and all
2. holding her Nets hat with two hands
3. pointing that Nets hat in your general direction
4. looking fearsome
5. wearing a see-through shirt

In conclusion: don't mess with any Nets or Knicks fans. And if you want to be a Nets or Knicks fan, work on cultivating a solid 'tude.


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