The only explanation for this is that the soccer ball is made of velcro.
This Street Performer Is Absolutely Incredible
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A Vikings Player Wants Fans To Get Wasted Before Coming To The Game
This is hilarious and maybe reprehensible.
This is Minnesota Vikings linebacker Chad Greenway. He likes to party.
Image by NFL via Getty Images / Getty Images
As such, this was Chad's humble request to Vikings fans, in the hope that it would bolster the team's home-field advantage.
Image by Duane Burleson / AP
I can't imagine a scenario where this
H/T Mark Craig at the Star Tribune.
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The Triumph Of Bud Light Platinum, Millennial Party Fuel
Tastes weird, more filling, sells like crazy.
"Man has long dreamed of turning lead into gold,” a gravel-voiced man told us. An otherworldly assembly line rolled out endless blue bottles while the stark plinks from Kanye West’s “Runaway” underlined the narrator's gravitas. “We dreamed of turning gold into platinum.” Weighty pause. “Triple-filtered. Smooth-finished. Top-shelf taste. Introducing...Bud Light Platinum.” And, via this grand ad — aired during first spot of the first commercial break of the 2012 Super Bowl — Bud Light's new sibling said hello.
Let's say that, after seeing the spot, you poked around and found the particulars of what makes this kind of Bud Light (which was in stores on the Monday before that Super Bowl Sunday) special. You’d have read about the higher alcohol content: 6% to Bud Light’s 4.2%. You’d have read about the sweeter taste, and about the space-age bottle (officially, a “cobalt blue”). And you would have been forgiven some skepticism. So this is Bud Light, a beer whose entire purpose is to be cheap, unpretentious, and easy to drink, you might have thought. But it's more expensive, has a heavier taste, and is for fancy people.
At the time, industry analyst Bump Williams was one of those who weren't buying. “I'm expecting a lot of product on the shelves with very little repeat purchases at the super-premium price point,” he told the Washington Post when the product launched. “It's better than Bud Light Golden Wheat” — Platinum’s predecessor in the Bud Light spin-off game, and an industry cautionary tale; it lived for just over two years — “but that's a very low [bar].” Corporate overlord InBev — which took over Anheuser-Busch in 2008 — isn’t known for its skill launching new products. As Bloomberg Businessweek’s recent cover story “The Plot to Destroy America’s Beer” details, InBev’s success has largely come through cost-cutting, and consumers have been complaining about the futzing it’s been doing with the legacy brands it's acquired.
Civilian reviews of Platinum were unpromising. “Reminiscent of a malt liquor mixed with the dregs of a Bud Light”; “the smell is honestly horrific”; “tastes like stale raisins,” said the commenters at BeerAdvocate.com. “I can’t beat around the bush: this is a foul fucking beer,” added YouTube’s Hoggies Beer Review. For DadBoner, the popular Twitter account of fictional Michigan divorcee Karl Welzein, Bud Light Platinum became an instant punch line. Karl was an immediate fan of “‘Nums,” he says, because they get you “homeless drunk, but with a touch of class.”
With both snooty tastemakers and bottom-line-oriented industry observers aligned against it, Platinum seemed destined to go the way of the Golden Wheat and so many other Bud products (remember Bud Extra, the “alcopop” packed with coffee and guarana?) that got the splashy rollout and then disappeared. But InBev and Anheuser-Busch can now shrug off all the criticism. Third-quarter numbers show that Platinum already has a nearly 1% market share in the U.S., comparable to Sam Adams. Over a million barrels of Bud Light Platinum have been shipped. Anheuser-Busch sees it as its most successful launch this decade. Platinum is a big fat hit.
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Sorry Coach, Your Name Is A Bad Word
Congrats “Sonny ****”!
Coach Sonny Dykes just completed a very successful 9-3 year at Louisiana Tech, and will be moving the greener pastures next season to coach the Cal Bears of the Pac-12.
Image by Kita Wright / AP
An SI Fan Nation report of the new hire, however, announced "Sonny **** To Cal." Apparently, the Fan Nation word filter couldn't decided if Sonny was an "embankment constructed to prevent flooding," or a more sinister slur, so it erred on the side of caution.
H/T Romanesko.
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The Funniest Sports GIFs Of 2012
The laughs. The falls. The images that move slightly to make the jokes funnier.
Derrick Rose doesn't dance, hates LeBron.
An NFL sideline reporter has his life flash before his eyes.
Brandon Weeden got sacked by the flag.
Chris Bosh couldn't high-five.
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LeBron James Finished A Rare And Beautiful Double Alley-Oop
FLYING DEATH MACHINE.
The Miami Heat are colloquially known as the "Flying Death Machine." If you're wondering why, look no further than the GIF below.
Ray Allen hurls the ball from near half court to the leaping Dwyane Wade, who's too far from the hoop to do much on his own. Instead, D-Wade tosses the ball in front of the rim — as he's traveling past it, mind you; that's no small feat on its own — and LeBron's perfectly set up to finish the double alley-oop. A play like this requires timing, control, and freakish athleticism; fortunately, those are things the Heat have in surplus.
Here's video of the play. The Heat, #2 in the East, are tied with the #1 Knicks 53-53 at halftime.
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The NFL Will Support Jovan Belcher's Daughter Through College
Some good news for a little girl who needs it.
(Instagram)
The dark story of Kansas City Chiefs linebacker Jovan Belcher finally got its first piece of even slightly good news. Less than a week after Belcher fatally shot his girlfriend Kassandra Perkins, then himself, it's been reported that the couple's 3-month-old daughter Zoey will be financially supported by the NFL through her 18th birthday, or if she decides to go to college, her 23rd birthday.
NFL.com's Ian Rappaport reports that due to a clause in the new NFL Collective Bargaining Agreement, Zoey and her guardian can expect payments from the league that break down as follows:
•$108,000 per year through the first four years of her life.
•$48,000 at year five.
•$52,000 per year from year six through eighteen or twenty-three depending on if she goes to college.
This means she can expect either $1.1 million if she doesn't go to college or $1.36 million if she does.
The money is no replacement for her parents nor any comfort for the horror that she'll have to learn about her family as she grows up, but it's nice that the NFL will be taking care of her.
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Awesome Infographic Breaks Down Kobe Bryant's 30,000 Career Points
This week Kobe Bryant became the fifth player in NBA history to score 30,000 points in his career.
Source: lakers.com
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NFL "Legend" Bernie Kosar Went On The Radio Super Drunk
The Cleveland sports legend got wasted and then called into a local radio show for his typical guest spot. It was a mistake.
(Thomas Ondrey / The Plain Dealer)
Growing up in Cleveland means growing up with a deep and abiding love for Bernie Kosar. So I was sad to hear that his appearance on Cleveland's WKNR this week wasn't getting buzz for being funny or insightful, but because Kosar called in to the show while being really, really drunk.
Here's a few of the highlights:
Via: img.spokeo.com
Via: media.cleveland.com
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The Lakers Go To The Movies
Pau Gasol cements his legacy as the Likable Laker, Kobe remains a dick.
The Lakers had the night off on the road, so the team decided to catch a movie. Pau Gasol was almost giddy.
They chose "Lincoln"! A classic, wholesome American tale.
Some of the Lakers had trouble paying attention.
Other Lakers, as Kobe Bryant pointed out today, were in over their heads.
Via: @mcten
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Fantasy Football Dos And Don'ts Week 14
Don't get put in a headlock of fantasy pain! Heed these tips!
DO Consider Nick Foles If You're In Need Of A Passer
Image by LM Otero / AP
Foles' first few games as an NFL starting QB have been inconsistent, but he finally put together a nice performance last week against Dallas, with 251 yards, a score, and, most importantly, no interceptions. Foles has the dreadful Tampa Bay passing defense to contend with this week, so it could finally be the time for him to air it out a bit and see if he can't make his own dent, particularly with LeSean McCoy still out of the starting lineup.
DON'T Bother With Philip Rivers
Image by Denis Poroy / AP
I mean, God help you if you're still starting Philip Rivers in fantasy football at this point. But it's conceivable; he is a name, after all; he was a Pro Bowler as recently as last year. But whether it's Rivers' fault or that of his crummy, badly coached, chronically underachieving team, he's been a disaster this year. Philip Rivers is 20th in the league in fantasy points. The jury's still out on whether Rivers has reached the end of his career as an effective passer or if he's just a victim of Norv Turner's hope-squishing vampire fangs, but either way, don't touch the dude until he re-proves himself.
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Santa Claus Told A Little Kid The Toronto Maple Leafs Suck
Santa must not know the Leafs are currently undefeated this season.
Image by AP
Mary Trent recently brought her son to the Lowe's Christmas Market in Toronto for a visit with Santa Claus. Her son, a big Maple Leafs fan, approached Santa proudly wearing a Maple Leafs tuque (another name for a beanie or stocking cap). Then Santa dropped a few bombs, according to the Toronto Sun.
The first thing he tells my son is, ‘Oh, you look like Paul Bunyan.' Then he said, ‘Oh, you’re wearing a Toronto Maple Leafs tuque, you shouldn’t be wearing that, they suck.’
Via: torontosun.com
Mary Trent quickly left with her son, and told him Santa was having a bad day. Her son cried all the way home. The Santa Claus in question has since lost his job. Who sucks NOW, Santa? Not the Trent family, for whom revenge is a fine wine sipped in front of a TV that is not showing the Maple Leafs, because the NHL is in the middle of another lockout.
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The Most Inspiring Sports Photos Of 2012
It's been a heartwarming, heartwarming year.
China's He Junquan bites on a towel to aid his start in the men's 50m Backstroke S5 at the Paralmypics.
Image by Eddie Keogh / Getty Images
Barry Zito kisses his wife in the rain after the Giants won the pennant. Zito's struggles in San Francisco have been legendary since signing a large contract there in 2006.
But he found redemption in the 2012 playoffs with dominant performances that reminded people of the pitcher he used to be.
Image by Robert Galbraith / Reuters
Nothing was expected in March Madness of little heralded 15-seed Norfolk State, but that didn't stop them from upsetting number 2-seed Missouri.
Image by Doug Pensinger / Getty Images
St. Clairsville High star running back Michael Ferns hugs freshman Logan Thompson. Thompson's father had died the week before the game.
Ferns had broken a long run that should have been a touchdown only to step out at the one-yard-line. The coach then put the little playing freshman Thompson in at running back (despite the fact that he had never played the position before). He was told to just follow Ferns. Thompson did as he was told and scored his first varsity touchdown.Read more here.
Source: Jeff Stewart
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Kobe Bryant Holding A Penis-Shaped Balloon Animal
What more can you want?
This screenshot comes from a great new commercial for Turkish Airlines featuring Kobe and Leo Messi. It's really tremendous.
Yes that balloon looks like a penis with too many balls. That's not what it's supposed to be, but there is something nice and perfectly apt about Kobe holding a balloon with too many balls.
Source: skift.com
Here's the full ad.
Source: youtube.com
Kobe really seems to be enjoying it.
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Dallas Cowboy Jerry Brown Dead, Teammate Josh Brent Charged With Intoxication Manslaughter
It's been a bad year for the NFL.
Josh Brent.
Image by Associated Press / AP
Dallas Cowboys nose tackle Josh Brent was arrested today on charges of intoxication manslaughter after driving when a one-car accident occurred early this morning in Irving, Texas. The accident killed his teammate Jerry Brown, a linebacker on the Cowboys practice squad. Both Matt Barrie of NBC 5 in Dallas and Ian Rapoport of NFL.com have confirmed the story.
Source: @RapSheet
This is not Brent's first brush with the law over drunk driving. In 2009 Brent served jail time after getting a DUI while he was a student at the University of Illinois. Brown also attended Illinois where he was a college teammate of Brent's.
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Johnny Manziel Is The First Freshman To Win The Heisman Trophy
“I have been dreaming about this since I was a kid.”
Image by Dave Martin / AP
"Johnny Football" has had a pretty good Freshman year.
A&M is 10-2 and the 20-year-old is the first quarterback in SEC history to pass for 3,000 yards and rush for 1,000 yards in a season. He has also set SEC records for total yards in game with 557 yards, a record which he then broke himself two weeks later with 576 yards. He broke Cam Newton's record for total yards in a season with 4600 yards. He also set a Division-I-wide record among freshmen for rushing yards by a quarterback with 1,181 yards. He has already been named the SEC Offensive Player of the Year, and was the SEC Freshman of the Week nine times during the season.
Manziel is the second player from Texas A&M to win the Heisman. He accepted the award Saturday night at Best Buy Theater in Times Square, New York.
Image by Mike Zarrilli / Getty Images
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McKayla Maroney Turns Seventeen
Happy birthday to everyone's favorite Olympic vaulter turned internet sensation, Miss McKayla Maroney.
And on Instagram
Via: instagram.com
While her loving fans made her cakes,
McKayla's response: "I get some of that.... Right? Jk! thankyou(:"
Via: @LuckySe7enn
fan videos,
Source: youtube.com
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Please Enjoy This Rubbable GIF Of Rex Ryan Rubbing His Belly
This is the best football GIF ever made, probably.
STEP ONE: Play this video.
STEP TWO: Watch this GIF.
STEP THREE: Repeat.
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Former NBA All-Star Now Viciously Elbowing Dudes In China
Tracy McGrady shows this guy why you don't taunt Tracy McGrady.
Seven-time NBA All-Star Tracy McGrady is now plying his trade in China. At least one Chinese player isn't intimidated, though: here, he hits a three right in T-Mac's face.
After making the shot, the dude taunts McGrady in the most obnoxious way possible: with a finger wag.
Big mistake.
T-Mac absolutely lays the guy out with an elbow to the chest, leaving him on the ground. Consider this a reminder that you should respect your elders.
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Cam Newton Is Actually Superman, In GIFs
Killer Cam's famous for his Superman touchdown celebration. But today, he busted out one play that made him look like the real deal.
The Carolina Panthers had already taken a 16-0 lead over the conference-leading Atlanta Falcons when Cam Newton decided to step things up a notch.
On a designed running play, the Panthers' super-athletic QB takes off, heading for the sideline.
Newton manages to turn the corner and outrun the Falcons defense. Remember: he's a quarterback, and he still runs like this.
With 20 yards to go, Cam leaves the last three defenders in a heap and dives into the end zone, finishing a 72-yard run.
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