You’ll be begging for a halftime that will never come.
1. Ugh there are so many teams. This is going to take me forever.
2. I have not watched a minute of college basketball this season.
3. I feel qualified to make picks, however, because I went to college, and I played basketball once.
4. Let's start with Duke. Duke is always good. They're like the Slytherin of college basketball.
5. OK, now that I have that out of the way, let's start at the top left. Can't do this willy-nilly.
6. I wish the team names were listed and not the just the school names. What if the school has a shitty mascot? I need to know that.
7. * hums "That's How I Beat Shaq" by Aaron Carter. *
8. I like Florida and I have to pick them because they're the Gators, and I love alligators.
9. VCU? That sounds like a venereal disease. Whatever, I'm picking them.
10. "UCLA Bruins" makes it sound like they're making beer, so that's an easy pick for me.
11. Well, my cousin went to Ohio State, so I have to choose them, right?
12. Syracuse! They wear orange. Orange is such an underrated color.
13. There's something edgy about choosing a 10-seed over a 7-seed. It makes you feel so alive!
14. I'm going with the Kansas Jayhawks. Also, did you know that Kansas is actually flatter than a pancake? Science, man!
15. I actually visited the University of Virginia. I didn't apply, but I had a nice Mexican meal while I was there.
16. I'm picking Memphis to win its first game because they're the Tigers, and tigers are cool.
Aaron Carter Vevo