Pick your team, learn your team, love your team.
Right now, you're just one of the Anonymous Crowd. But you want to change that. You want to be Part Of Something.
Image by Jason Lee / Reuters
You want a sports team to cheer for. I understand: having a sports team that you support is like being part of a large, similarly dressed family that feels the exact same way all the time, but only about one thing. It's like being part of a cult, except socially acceptable. It's like being one with the God-mind in heaven, except sometimes it sucks.
Not having a sports team to support is an easy ailment to cure. It may seem intimidating and arbitrary to pick, but that's why I'm here: I'm here to help. I'm like Dr. Phil. There are five steps to Choosing A Favorite Team, and I'll walk you through them one by one.
Decide If You Want To Be Regional
Image by Michael Dwyer, File / AP
The easiest traditional way to determine your favorite sports team is to decide on a regional basis. If you're from the Boston area, like Olympic champion Aly Raisman, you cheer for the Boston Bruins, the Boston Celtics, the New England Patriots, and the Boston Red Sox. This can apply to basically any part of your life, so use it as a sliding scale: if you were born in New York, grew up in St. Louis, went to college in Miami, and settled in San Francisco, you have a wide array of options to choose from. (No, there is no correct team to pull for in that case. Cheer for whoever you damn well please.) Regional can also apply to your parents: if your dad or mom is from Dallas, and they grew up and remain rabid Cowboys fans, and yet you live in New Jersey and everyone you know pulls for the Giants, you can totally still pull for the Cowboys. Family trumps all bonds.
Side note: you should keep in mind with all of these that there is a relationship between how many teams you cheer for and how serious of a fan you are. The more teams you cheer for, the harder it is to be a serious fan, because you have more teams to follow, requiring more time and energy and love on your part. We all only have so much love to give.