Shortstop Hot Tub Time Machine. (They're not actually in a hot tub, but they may as well be.)
The no-shirt-and-gold-chain look was apprently huge in 1997, when Sports Illustrated ran an article about up-and-coming shortstops accompanied by this photo.
Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.
From left to right: Alex Gonzalez, Edgar Renteria, Alex Rodriguez, Rey Ordonez and Derek Jeter.
Image by Walter Iooss Jr./SI
Check out the Sports Illustrated article that spurred this photo shoot. Long on Shortstops by Tom Verducci.
Angel Hernandez might be ruled legally blind today.
With the U.S. and Dominican Republic tied at 1-1 in the ninth inning of a critical World Baseball Classic game last night, umpire Angel Hernandez called this a strike.
Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.
Except it was clearly not a strike.
Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.
In real time, it definitely doesn't look like a strike.
Brian Hartline just signed a $30 million contract with the Miami Dolphins. He calls owning convenience stores “a dream.”
This is Brian Hartline. Hartline's played wide receiver for four years in the NFL, and this offseason, he signed a five-year, $31 million contract with the Miami Dolphins. That's a lot of money!
Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.
Image by File / AP
But Hartline, who grew up in Canton, Ohio and majored in communications at Ohio State, doesn't act like a rich dude. In fact, he acts very differently than a rich dude. For example: since January, he's owned and worked in a drive-thru convenience store in his home state, and he talked about it on Dan Le Batard's radio show this week. It's called Smart Stop, and the interviewers couldn't believe it.
Neymar has scored more than 100 goals in his career, exceeding 40 in a season twice. He's led his club, Santos, to the Brazilian championship and its first South American title since Pele did the same in 1963. He's been on the cover of a video game. He's sponsored by Nike. He's the seventh-highest-paid player in the world. He has an appallingly "fashionable" haircut. And he's only 21. By about every standard, he's what you would call a "worldwide superstar."
Except this one: We're not sure if he's that good. As in, no one has any idea. He might be the greatest soccer player in the world not named Messi, and he might just be another talented 21-year-old Brazilian, of which there are enough to populate a small European principality. No one knows, because a combination of caution and coincidence has kept Neymar from playing almost any meaningful games against top world-class competition.
Not knowing is weird, especially today when toddlers are presumably being recruited by USC and Real Madrid is actually signing 7-year-olds, and the longer Neymar stays in Brazil, the weirder it'll get. Right now, he is Kyrie Irving if Kyrie Irving stayed in school — and that school was the Stevens Institute of Technology.
Brazilian soccer is in a strange place. The national team hasn't won a World Cup since 2002, which, for any other country wouldn't be long, but in Brazil it is, and they didn't even advance past the quarterfinals in 2006 or 2010. Meanwhile, their club teams are the soccer-world equivalent of Division II, or Triple-A, though they have become slightly bigger players on a world scale of late, as Tottenham coach Andre Villas Boas bemoaned after Brazilian club Internacional declined his $19.5 million offer for striker Leandro Damiao during the January transfer window. The fact that Neymar is still playing in Brazil is considered by many to be a sign of national pride and health. (Although, the president of Brazil — as in, you know, THE PRESIDENT — supposedly had to help Santos attract new sponsors and cable partnerships to afford Neymar's contract. So who knows how true this actually is.)
The league, at least, is doing well enough financially, and it's fun to watch, and a lot of people care about it — but it's in a bubble. The soccer played in Brazil is different from what's played in Europe. There are positions that don't exist anywhere outside of Brazil. (See: Chelsea's David Luiz, who in Brazil played as a "quarto zagueiro," a freelancing midfield-defense hybrid who sort of roams wherever he wants.) Defense is an afterthought. Time on the ball is plentiful. It is — and this description is totally overused, but there's merit to it — soccer as a means of expression. The individual is the focus, rather than the team. Which is unique and interesting in the context of every other professional sport, but also just not the best way for 11 people to transport a ball into a goal.
Neymar is great at this type of game — maybe better than anyone in the world at it. Watch any clip of him on YouTube, which, for most of the world, is where he exists. He plays like he doesn't have knees, or any bones in his legs, and his hips are vaguely hips. His lower body all just kind of moves, pulling and rolling the ball in one of 360 ways. There's no discernible pattern to anything he does (sure, he likes to cut in from the left side of the field, but that's too general a notion to be helpful to a defender, like saying that Derrick Rose likes to drive to the hoop), and the ball's moving through your legs or over your shoulder or just back and forth in front of you and then he's gone. He's so fast, the ball looks like there's backspin on it when he dribbles. He'll take a big touch, and the ball should keep rolling away, but then he'll be back on it within a step. It looks fake, almost — or just incorrect.
He's maybe the most exciting player in the world to watch highlights of. But the question that still hasn't been answered is this: Could he do this anywhere else?
The only problem? Dumervil was slated to make $12 million this season and management wanted him to take a pay cut. Dumervil agreed to take $8 million, rather than risk being released.
Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.
Image by Jack Dempsey / AP
All Dumervil's agent had to do was fax the proper paperwork to the Broncos, who would have until 4 p.m. to get the agreement to the league office.
Despite being the first overall seed in the tournament, Louisville drew a murderer's row of a region, with Duke and Michigan State at #2 and #3. In addition to being two of NCAA basketball's most historically successful franchises, Duke was in the conversation for a #1 seed, and Michigan State's coach, Tom Izzo, could get 12 out-of-shape goats to the Final Four. On the flip side, the West appears at first glance to be the tournament's weakest region: #1 seed Gonzaga has yet to beat anyone of note, and Ohio State and Kansas State are solid but unspectacular squads. #3 New Mexico is definitely salivating.
Other noteworthy points: ACC regular-season and tourney champion Miami fell short of a #1 seed, probably because they lost to Florida Gulf Coast early in the season; North Carolina coach Roy Williams could end up in a match-up with his old team if UNC beats Villanova and Kansas wins their first-round game (which they will); and Oregon receives a #12 seed despite winning the Pac-12 tournament and finishing second in the conference during the regular season.
The four play-in games take place on Tuesday and Wednesday, and tournament play begins in earnest Thursday.
Enough with trying (and failing) to figure out who's more likely to win. Who do you want to win?
No matter how much time you spend working on your brackets, in the end the only ones who are going to make money off of any of this are the players (ha, joke!) the people who base their tournament-pool choices on the cuteness of the mascots shoe companies and television executives. So why not make your picks like a fan and pull for the teams that speak most to your personal hopes, fears, and dreams?
The Midwest
Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.
Louisville center Bill Clinton is undersized but feisty.
#1 Louisville vs. #16 North Carolina A&T/Liberty play-in game winner. Pick North Carolina A&T, which made the tournament for the first time in 18 years, if you feel like things are finally looking up for you after a run of bad luck. Pick Liberty if you're always putting your faith in people only to find that they aren't who you thought they were (i.e., the kind of person who thinks Liberty star Seth Curry, brother of NBA standout Stephen, could lead them to an upset, but doesn't know that Seth transferred to Duke in 2010). Pick Louisville if you have any common sense whatsoever.
#8 Colorado St. vs. #9 Missouri. Pick Missouri if you think Hannibal, Missouri's Mark Twain, is a greater novelist than Oak Park, Illinois', Ernest Hemingway. Pick Colorado State if you would rather go mountain biking than read a novel.
#5 Oklahoma State vs. #12 Oregon. Pick Oklahoma State, home of a respected veterinary college, if you enjoy the silent, noble company of animals to the gossipy chattering of your fellow humans. Pick Oregon, a low seed despite winning the Pac-12 tournament, if you feel like the big shots never give you any credit for anything you do.
#4 St. Louis vs. #13 New Mexico State. Pick the unusually monikered St. Louis Billikens if you feel like a purple polka dot in a black-and-white world. Pick the New Mexico State Aggies, who share their nickname with a bajillion other agricultural colleges, if you feel like there's nothing wrong with being normal and that no one likes a show-off.
#6 Memphis vs. #11 Middle Tennessee State/St. Mary's play-in game winner. Pick Memphis if you wish you lived somewhere with more soul. Pick St. Mary's if you wish you lived somewhere more scenic, like northern California. Pick Middle Tennessee State if you lived somewhere with a name half as cool as Murfreesboro. No matter who you pick, adopt a mutt from the pound and name him "Murfreesboro." Time for a walk, Murfreesboro. Atta boy.
#3 Michigan State vs. #14 Valparaiso. Pick Michigan State, coached by Tom Izzo, if you occasionally refer to your "hizzouse" when you meant to refer to your "shizzle." Pick Valparaiso if your favorite song is "Two ValTickets to ValParadise."
#7 Creighton vs. #10 Cincinnati. Pick Creighton, alma mater of tough-as-nails Hall of Fame pitcher Bob Gibson, if you don't take any crap from anyone at any time. Pick Cincinnati if you think a little sweetness — a little cinnamon and cocoa in the chili of life, if you will — can improve any situation.
#2 Duke vs. #15 Albany. Pick Duke if you think that successful people get criticized too much in our society — if you feel like you missed the day when they announced it was a crime to make a little money. Pick Albany if you don't like to have money in the first place.
The South
Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.
A new University of Florida student checks out his freshman dorm room.
The gorgeous Alyssa Miller explains the strange techniques for applying a paint-on swimsuit. Like dry shaving and “pussy flaps.”
Meet Alyssa Miller!
Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.
For the latest Sports Illlustrated swimsuit issue, she posed wearing this painted-on white bikini — a reenactment of the magazine's first swimsuit issue cover.
These are her personal photos from the day-long application process.
This weekend a story of a young lady who goes by @spanish_dime907 became a prominent Twitter story. A few months ago she posted this photo of her and a friend "Roof top bottle poppin with NBA champ Mario Chalmers."
This dude, sitting at a bar mitzvah and holding a Torah, looks an awful lot like Los Angeles Lakers superstar Steve Nash, doesn't he?
Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.
(That's the Torah that Nash is holding, wrapped in a cover.)
Reddit says he is Steve Nash, and, I mean, Reddit's not exactly infallible, BUT: if you search "Steve Nash bar mitzvah" on Twitter — and I do this on a pretty regular basis, because obviously — there's some supporting evidence.
This is Gerald Wallace. He plays for the Brooklyn Nets.
Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.
Image by Matt Slocum / AP
The Nets traded for Wallace last March, giving up a first-round pick which would become rookie sensation Damian Lillard. The Nets claimed the move would "balance the roster... and [allow them to] still have cap flexibility."
Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.
Image by Eric Gay / AP
In the off-season, Wallace signed a contract for four years and $40 million. Damian Lillard makes $6.27 million over two years. So there's Billy King's definition of "cap flexibility."
And despite that huge contract, Gerald Wallace is having a terrible season. He's shooting 27% from the field in March, which is abysmal. Like, "Maybe it's time to go play in Europe" bad.
![The Nets traded for Wallace last March, giving up a first-round pick which would become rookie sensation Damian Lillard. The Nets claimed the move would "balance the roster... and [allow them to] still have cap flexibility."](http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/enhanced/webdr02/2013/3/18/11/enhanced-buzz-2113-1363621961-4.jpg)