Finally, a luxury brand makes golf seem even more pretentious.
Do you ride in golf carts and constantly complain about their lame boxy exterior, lackluster lumbar support, ineffective cup holders, and piss-poor horsepower?
Source: bahamaslocal.com
Are you used to living the good life and refuse to settle for anything but the best?
Hear us out! There IS a relevant point here.
If at first you don't succeed, blame it on a urine collector named Dino.
Via: Marc Serota / Getty Images
It's likely that you've thought at some point in the past few years about whether you are A Bad Person for watching football. Both science and common sense say that playing football can contribute to brain damage. Is some guy going to commit suicide in 20 years, more or less, so you could have a fun Sunday afternoon?
The same question is rarely asked about baseball, despite an ostensibly similar health crisis, namely the use of performance-enhancing drugs. It's hard to say if PED use is as common in the game as brain injuries are in football, but there are certainly many, many players who have used PEDs over the course of the past two decades and beyond. It's hardly a source of concern for most baseball fans, though, and if anything, baseball fans get more upset about the way PEDs affect the competitive balance of the game. Where words like "frightening" and "health crisis" are used to talk about concussions, fans talk about PEDs in baseball with terms like "cheating" and "dirty." That is, if they discuss them at all. Despite the hype around the occasional Braun or A-Rod, PED use is only barely on the radar of the typical baseball fan. (Having to put up with 20 years of a league and a players' union loudly running in circles on the issue will do that.)
There are, of course, key differences between a lineman getting a concussion and a third basemen injecting himself in the butt with a steroid designed for elephants. Collisions are a mandatory part of football, and butt-elephant steroids are not a mandatory part of baseball. There's also what seems like more agreement over the dangers of concussions than there is over the dangers of the variety of PEDs available these days. Old-fashioned bodybuilder steroids are but one of a range of options in the bounteous enhancement cornucopia available to the modern athlete. There's HGH, testosterone, the female fertility treatments that Manny Ramirez took, all the ointments Lance Armstrong made people rub on his parts before he fired them and ruined their reputations. While they all have potentially adverse side effects, none are as quite obviously or conclusively dangerous as the effects of getting hit in the brain by Ed Reed.
A-Rod (left) with Tony Bosch.
Via: Peter Charlesworth / LightRocket / Getty Images
But really, if we're trying to be ethical here, "possibly less dangerous than getting hit in the head by Ed Reed" is not the standard we want to set for what athletes are encouraged to do for our entertainment. And yeah — encouraged. It's true that a millionaire athlete who lies about the things he did to make himself more of a millionaire — and who can pay a team of doctors to carefully calibrate his "treatment" to minimize damage — is not sympathetic or in great danger. But the majority of the people who might take PEDs don't fall into that category. There are thousands and thousands of aspiring players who, as the saying goes, are looking for an edge, and many are from backgrounds where the fallback for failed baseball players isn't as nice as an American minor-league washout's job selling used cars or insurance. For someone in poverty in Central America, PED use might be closer to stealing bread to feed your family than to whatever Braun and A-Rod did. Teenagers in Latin America aren't going to be getting good medical supervision or advice, either, if even the big-timers like Braun were going to a quack pseudo-doctor like Biogenesis' Tony Bosch.
Just like they drew it up.
Baseball Fundamentals 101: You're a catcher, it's a tie game in the bottom of the ninth, and there's a runner on first — but the winning run is on second base. The ball gets away from you. What is the last thing on earth that you do?
If you answered THROW THE BALL TO FIRST, you are correct! Also, that means you're not Oakland's Derek Norris, who did that very thing last night, when he saw Jose Altuve slip and fall between first and second.
And Jonathan Villar made Oakland pay by racing all the way from second to end the game.
Astros fans, who've seen the fewest home wins in all of MLB this season, were besides themselves with joy.
When hilariously high tensions meet embarrassingly limited vocabulary.
ESPN's First Take — starring the infallible Skip Bayless and the unconscionable Stephen A. Smith — is a "debate" bitchfest where the winner is determined by who can raise their voice higher. Sadly, this format is catching on and quickly becoming the only form of "analytical" discussion on television.
Via: ESPN
Skip and SAS are the undisputed kings of spewing unintelligible bullshit at each other, but the following clip from CSN New England's Sports Tonight shows Gary Tanguay and Kirk Minihane are coming for the throne.
(Gary Tanguay is on the far left, and Kirk Minihane is on the far right.)
Showing off that Alabama education.
He was the star running back for the Alabama Crimson Tide before being drafted in the second round by the Green Bay Packers. And according to Darren Rovell, these are a few of the sketches he's done, which will be included in a new series of trading cards by Panini America:
Via: Joe Robbins / Getty Images
I'm not kidding. Those are actually his drawings. A 23-year-old man literally drew a stick figure with a triangle hat, and was like, "Yep. That looks dope. Next!" And can we talk about how funny it had to be to see a professional football player switch colored markers to write "Go Pack Go"? Man, I wish there were more. Oh wait...
And now this 11-year-old has an amazing story.
11-year-old Charlie Silverwood was attending a friendly soccer match between Bournemouth and Real Madrid, when all of a sudden he was struck by a Cristiano Ronaldo free kick.
The shot, which was fired from 35 yards out, broke Charlie's wrist in two places, but the little man stuck it out for the remaining 84 minutes of the match before going to the hospital. And his reward for being so tough: a signed Real Madrid shirt. As the surprisingly articulate 11-year-old put it, "It's one of the most spectacular ways you can get your arm broken."
Mets outfielder Eric Young Jr., stepped on the Atlanta Braves pitcher’s right ankle in the eighth on Wednesday night in New York in what is likely a season-ending injury.
Source: youtube.com
Braves manager Fredi Gonzalez and a trainer rushed out to aid Hudson, who took off his cap and held his shaved head in his hands. EMS workers finally strapped the right-hander to a backboard and drove him off the field on a cart as fans applauded.
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Think your life is hard? Spare a thought for Gaylord Silly.
Source: zonersports.com
Source: talesfromtheamericanfootballleague.com
Source: sportsworldcards.com
Source: loud-mouse.com
A bittersweet day for a legendary butt.
Source: s3-ec.buzzfed.com
Source: s3-ec.buzzfed.com
Via: Nick Laham / Getty Images
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In honor of this weekend’s Brickyard 400. Ain’t no trophy like a grandfather clock, cuz a grandfather clock don’t stop.
Unlike most sports, every single victory in NASCAR is accompanied by a huge celebration, and depending on the track, a neat traditional celebration and/or trophy. Here are 13 of them in honor of the the 20th running of the Brickyard 400 — whose champions kiss the bricks of the famous Indianapolis Motor Speedway — this weekend.
A Polish victory lap is when a driver turns his car around and drives in the wrong direction, which for NASCAR means clockwise. This one is last because it is mildly offensive to Poles, though we're sure they're used to it.
Via: Streeter Lecka / Getty Images
When Joey Logano wins, he takes the steering wheel with him. Rumors that he sits in his bed at night holding them and saying "vroom, vroom!" are unconfirmed.
Via: Wesley Hitt / Getty Images
Winners of the New Hampshire Motor Speedway in Loudon, NH take home a giant Loudon Lobster.
Via: Sean Gardner / Getty Images
And back-to-back-to-back-to-back AAU national championships.
You may not realize this, but there is one man who influenced your life more than any parent, teacher, local bartender, or deity. He taught you the fundamentals of baseball, but more importantly he showed you how to be a man. His name was — and most still likely is — Tom Emanski.
This is NSFW baseball porn.
Last night's game between AL East rivals Tampa Bay and Boston featured one of the prettiest, smoothest, most mind-boggling double plays you'll see this year.
Watch as Yunel Escobar ranges to his left and nonchalantly fields a ground ball and in one fluid motion transfers the ball perfectly into the palm of Ben Zobrist's bare hand and then Zobrist in turn makes an equally impressive play to complete the sequence.
Laz Diaz needs to get on Aetna Navigator and find a good optometrist.
Just another game-ending double play last night between the Pirates and Nationals — or so umpire Laz Diaz would have you believe. *cue ominous music*
Via: wapc.mlb.com
Soooooo, did Neil Walker actually tag Wilson Ramos there? Because if he didn't, the game should not be over and the Nats have the tying run at the plate. Sure looks iffy from this angle. What else we got?
And there we go. Walker clearly whiffed at Ramos' back as the Nats catcher rushed on toward second.
Even when Walker is at full extension, not even that close.
They do lacrosse a little differently north of the border.
Via: Kirk Irwin / Getty Images
Via: Winslow Townson / Getty Images
I don’t know what happened, but I like it.
Last night, in the top of the 8th inning of the Reds-Dodgers game, Joey Votto laced a single on a hit-and-run with Shin-Soo Choo advancing to second base.
But as Andre Ethier was fielding the ball, Choo got completely fooled by... whatever you call this:
Haha. That was awesome. Let's look at it again.
That's some Sandlot baseball right there.
Jacob Karam was volunteering at Memphis’s St. Jude Children’s Hospital volunteering and ended up playing piano with some of the kids.
Source: youtube.com
Jim Boeheim is gonna have some tea with the gals later.
That's Duke's Mike Krzyzewski, Monty Williams of the New Orleans Pelicans, and Syracuse's Jim Boeheim.
Via: Ethan Miller / Getty Images
Mark Ellis has bragging rights over all of Major League Baseball.
Aroldis Chapman is a bad man. He throws roughly a million miles per hour and eats Cuban pastries with reckless abandon. He is on pace to strike out nearly half the people he's faced this season.
Via: Joe Robbins / Getty Images
Chapman also knows he's a badass. He drives a yellow Lamborghini with the license plate "105 MPH," and has a tattoo of a flaming baseball that reads "105.1 mph" on his pitching arm, commemorating the time he nearly broke a radar gun.
Always read the fine print.
Being a sports agent, like the highly successful (and much-reviled) Scott Boras, must sound like good work if you can get it. Sure, you work long hours and end up with few friends, but you get rich and watch a lot of sports. OK, fine, but the thing is that the job doesn't end once the signatures dry.
Via: Mark J. Terrill / AP
Take football. Many contracts in the NFL have escalator clauses, meaning that once X is accomplished, the numbers (be they years or actual dollar amounts) go up Y. Sometimes, the requirements are hard, and sometimes they're ridiculous easy, like showing up for a few official workouts in the offseason.
Via: Marcio Jose Sanchez / AP
Tarell Brown, defensive back for the 49ers, had one such clause in his contract, which would pay him an extra $2 million this season, on top of $925,000 in base pay, if he did just that — showed up to some workouts. Except that someone's agent forgot to tell him about it, and he worked out on his own in Texas, away from the team and his $2 million.
Via: Marcio Jose Sanchez / AP
So guess who fired his agent yesterday? "If I would have known the clauses in my contract -- that's what agents get paid to do, to orchestrate the contract and to let you know what you can and can't do as far as workouts and OTAs and things of that sort," said Brown, according to the AP. "That's what he got paid to do. He didn't do that, so in my opinion you have to be let go. We all are held accountable for our actions. This is part of the business." (His agent, Brian Overstreet, has not yet commented and, if what Brown says is true, is probably currently filing for a legal name change somewhere in northern Mexico.)
Via: Brian Bahr / Getty Images
Get some Frosted Flakes for that cat.
Darnell Dockett is one of the most outspoken players in the NFL — I mean that in a good way. He has arguably the most entertaining Twitter account in all of sports.
This week, the Arizona Cardinals defensive end decided it was time to get a new pet— which really isn't news for most normal human beings — but Dockett wasn't in the market for a golden retriever or some goldfish.
