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The Knicks-Nets Rivalry Is Basically Just People Sneering At You

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If you want to cheer for one of these teams, better put on a New York scowl.

The New York Knicks of Manhattan and the Brooklyn Nets of Brooklyn are playing each other tonight in the Barclays Center of Brooklyn, not to be confused with the Madison Square Garden of Manhattan. Both of these teams are from New York City, and, if ESPN's telecast is any indication, both are very tough.

I mean, look at this guy.

I mean, look at this guy.

He is

1. sneering at you
2. pointing at his Nets hat
3. riding a scooter
4. riding a scooter through a dark alleyway
5. riding a scooter through a dark alleyway past a mural of the Notorious B.I.G.

This man means business.

Knicks fans can do it too.

Knicks fans can do it too.

This gentleman is

1. sneering at you
2. pointing at the Knicks badge on his jacket
3. shaking his head as he sneers at you
4. wearing very hostile glasses

Third, we have another Nets fan, this one female and the toughest of them all.

Third, we have another Nets fan, this one female and the toughest of them all.

She is

1. sneering at you, upraised lip-corner and all
2. holding her Nets hat with two hands
3. pointing that Nets hat in your general direction
4. looking fearsome
5. wearing a see-through shirt

In conclusion: don't mess with any Nets or Knicks fans. And if you want to be a Nets or Knicks fan, work on cultivating a solid 'tude.


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