Vive la France!
The Wall Street Journal ran the numbers — more on their methodology and conclusions here. France, by this chart, takes the most time per injury; Brazilians fall a lot but get up fast. And a caveat: This makes no distinction between real and fake injuries, real and fake pain.
France — 43.9 seconds
Iran — 36.2
Russia — 35.1
USA — 32
Ivory Coast — 30.9
Honduras — 30.7
Belgium — 29
Argentina — 28
Colombia — 27.7
Uruguay — 27.4
Portugal — 27.3
South Korea — 27.1
England — 26.9
Chile — 26.1
Nigeria — 25.7
Netherlands — 24.8
Algeria — 24.3
Cameroon — 23.6
Ecuador — 22.8
Ghana — 18.5
Australia — 18.3
Japan — 17.9
Greece — 17.7
Costa Rica — 17.5
Mexico — 15.9
Germany — 14.8
Italy — 13.7
Spain — 13.6
Bosnia and Herzegovina — 12
Switzerland — 11.6
Brazil — 11.6