Results are based off a very complicated scientific formula taking aesthetics, World Cup wins, and patriotism into consideration.
1990 Home
One of the most bland USA jerseys to ever be released. These kits make us look French or European or something — un-American. And is that's a big no-no. (Note: the team didn't wear away kits at any point during the 1990 tournament.)
Patriotism: 0 out of 5
Design: 1 out of 5
World Cup wins in uniform: 0
Total: 1
Simon Bruty / Allsport
2002 Away
Lacked an "it" factor, and the team failed to pick up a result when dressed in blue.
Patriotism: 2 out of 5
Design: 2.5 out of 5
Wins: 0
Total: 4.5
Ben Radford / Getty Images
1930
USA's first, and most successful, World Cup (they made the semis! By winning two matches, but still) had them sporting the all-whites with bumble-bee themed socks. They looked kind of like long-johns. Not a good look to be remembered by. (Note: we couldn't find evidence of separate home and away uniforms for 1930, 1934, and 1950 — if we overlooked something, email sports@buzzfeed.com to let us know.)
Patriotism: 2 out of 5
Design: 1 out of 5
Wins: 2
Total: 5
Popperfoto / Getty Images
1934
You sometimes have to appreciate the simplicity of kits. The USA's second World Cup appearance had them taking the field with long-sleeved, royal-blue jerseys with just a crest on the chest.
Patriotism: 2 out of 5
Design: 3.5 out of 5
Wins: 0
Total: 5.5
Popperfoto / Getty Images