If you needed a made-up person to get your back, these are the guys you’d go to.
Sidney Dean and Billy Hoyle.
Movie or TV Show: White Man Can't Jump.
Pros: They're both incredibly good basketball players and if they put their personal differences and pride aside they're going to help you win. They're Venice Beach's con artist kings. They're always looking fresh to death.
Cons: THEY ARE CON ARTISTS AND DEGENERATE GAMBLERS. You can't trust them — ever.
Steve Lattimer.
Movie or TV Show: The Program.
Pros: The dude is an absolute monster. He's literally the largest and scariest man to ever grace a fictional football field.
Cons: He is so large and scary because he is completely 'roided out. He won't even be on the field when you need him because of drug suspensions.
Mel Clark.
Movie or TV Show: Angels in the Outfield.
Pros: He has angels adding about 25 mph to his fastball. He's Tony Danza!
Cons: Angels can't help him in the playoffs. He's also dying.
Thornton Mellon.
Movie or TV Show: Back to School.
Pros: Incredibly wealthy. He has enough money to pay Kurt Vonnegut to write his English papers. He throws great parties and is the only known diver to complete the "Triple Lindy."
Cons: Old. Wildcard. Commitment issues.
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