Coping with the death of your season can be a trying time.
It's critical that you know every playoff scenario that might save your team from elimination, no matter how insane.
It's impressive how far fans will go to come up with a variety of scenarios that are all so unique and complex in their hopelessness. "OK, so if the Broncos lose all their remaining games..."
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No matter what you said two months ago, your franchise player is now the worst human being who has ever lived.
This situation is obviously his fault, his fault alone and definitely not a combination of complicated factors ranging from management to the roster to simple bad luck.
Because otherwise, that would mean that there are several terrible people at fault, and it's much easier to believe your team can be saved next year if it only needs to chuck one specific terrible person overboard.
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Your coach is definitely getting fired*, for real this time.
Yes, you know that there have been many close calls in the past, but he is definitely, for real, absolutely without question going to get fired after this season. There is just no way he won't. For serious.
To you, this is either a tragedy, because you actually blame your team's failings on your franchise player (see above) or it's an exorcism, as you're spending so much time rehashing the coach's failures in your head that you are starting to forget the names of co-workers, friends, and your spouse.
*Or the NFL version of "fired," which is more like a large game of White Elephant, in which everyone brings a member of their coaching staff they don't want, and at the end, everyone has someone else's retread coach who they also probably don't want.
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Next year's rookies are now as important, if not more important, than your 401k, or your children.
Because if there is one healthy coping mechanism, it's placing all your hopes and fears on the shoulders of 18-22 year olds.
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