Desperate times, like needing to watch a preseason football game when your spouse/boyfriend/girlfriend would rather do literally anything else, call for desperate measures. Here are some of the leading methods of sports-related relationship trickery.
Turn on games you have no interest in watching just to be able to score points by turning them off.
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"Change the channel? Well, if you insist, I guess I can live without the third quarter of Raiders-Browns."
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Lie shamelessly about the quality of dining and shopping options available in the vicinity of any stadium where you want to go to a game.
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"Oh, yeah, I'm SURE they have an Anthropologie in the South Bronx."
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Describe your favorite players not in terms of their importance to your team (i.e. what you care about), but in terms of the vibrancy of their smiles and their dedication to charity work (i.e. what your significant other might conceivably care about).
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OK, even diehard fans are charmed by a good smile.
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Describe games you want to watch in terms of personality conflicts between players on opposing teams, as if you were selling a television drama.
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Not sure who Patrick Dempsey is in this metaphor.
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