These “athletes” are why participation trophies were invented.
Greg Goldberg - The Mighty Ducks
Let's not kid ourselves. Goldberg might have been the worst goalie in Minnesota. For a large kid, he sure did suck at making himself big in the net. He also had a crappy attitude when people would shoot the puck at him. Dude, you're the goaltender, that's your job!
Scott Howard - Teen Wolf
I mean, where do I even start with this kid? He can't dribble, shoot, pass, or play defense. His form is terrible, and he has a tendency to jump on his teammates after every point, allowing the opposing team to have a fast-break.
He's also the shortest player on the court, which is a huge disadvantage in high school. Sorry, Scotty, but maybe getting water for the team is more up your alley.
Henry Rowengartner - Rookie of the Year
I don't care how fast you can throw; if you are 12-years-old, you cannot play in the major leagues. Especially when you only have one pitch! Also, maybe try and disguise that floater next time. You're kind of giving it away when you completely change your form and throw the ball underhand. Just sayin'.
Jake Berman - Little Giants
This little man could get tackled by the wind. Not to mention the fact that he needs extra padding, is frightened by competition ("Somebody call 911!"), and wears glasses on the football field. C'mon, Jake. Get some recs specs, son.