Enough with trying (and failing) to figure out who's more likely to win. Who do you want to win?
No matter how much time you spend working on your brackets, in the end the only ones who are going to make money off of any of this are the players (ha, joke!) the people who base their tournament-pool choices on the cuteness of the mascots shoe companies and television executives. So why not make your picks like a fan and pull for the teams that speak most to your personal hopes, fears, and dreams?
The Midwest
Louisville center Bill Clinton is undersized but feisty.
Source: cbssports.com
#1 Louisville vs. #16 North Carolina A&T/Liberty play-in game winner. Pick North Carolina A&T, which made the tournament for the first time in 18 years, if you feel like things are finally looking up for you after a run of bad luck. Pick Liberty if you're always putting your faith in people only to find that they aren't who you thought they were (i.e., the kind of person who thinks Liberty star Seth Curry, brother of NBA standout Stephen, could lead them to an upset, but doesn't know that Seth transferred to Duke in 2010). Pick Louisville if you have any common sense whatsoever.
#8 Colorado St. vs. #9 Missouri. Pick Missouri if you think Hannibal, Missouri's Mark Twain, is a greater novelist than Oak Park, Illinois', Ernest Hemingway. Pick Colorado State if you would rather go mountain biking than read a novel.
#5 Oklahoma State vs. #12 Oregon. Pick Oklahoma State, home of a respected veterinary college, if you enjoy the silent, noble company of animals to the gossipy chattering of your fellow humans. Pick Oregon, a low seed despite winning the Pac-12 tournament, if you feel like the big shots never give you any credit for anything you do.
#4 St. Louis vs. #13 New Mexico State. Pick the unusually monikered St. Louis Billikens if you feel like a purple polka dot in a black-and-white world. Pick the New Mexico State Aggies, who share their nickname with a bajillion other agricultural colleges, if you feel like there's nothing wrong with being normal and that no one likes a show-off.
#6 Memphis vs. #11 Middle Tennessee State/St. Mary's play-in game winner. Pick Memphis if you wish you lived somewhere with more soul. Pick St. Mary's if you wish you lived somewhere more scenic, like northern California. Pick Middle Tennessee State if you lived somewhere with a name half as cool as Murfreesboro. No matter who you pick, adopt a mutt from the pound and name him "Murfreesboro." Time for a walk, Murfreesboro. Atta boy.
#3 Michigan State vs. #14 Valparaiso. Pick Michigan State, coached by Tom Izzo, if you occasionally refer to your "hizzouse" when you meant to refer to your "shizzle." Pick Valparaiso if your favorite song is "Two ValTickets to ValParadise."
#7 Creighton vs. #10 Cincinnati. Pick Creighton, alma mater of tough-as-nails Hall of Fame pitcher Bob Gibson, if you don't take any crap from anyone at any time. Pick Cincinnati if you think a little sweetness — a little cinnamon and cocoa in the chili of life, if you will — can improve any situation.
#2 Duke vs. #15 Albany. Pick Duke if you think that successful people get criticized too much in our society — if you feel like you missed the day when they announced it was a crime to make a little money. Pick Albany if you don't like to have money in the first place.
The South
A new University of Florida student checks out his freshman dorm room.
Image by David Zucchino/Los Angeles Times/MCT