We're getting close to the finish of the NBA season, and it's time to choose a horse. A good horse who tries hard and takes high-efficiency shots. An efficient horse.
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The end of the NBA season is upon us, and it's time for you to make a choice. Maybe you've been following one NBA team all year, watching every game, reading all the box scores, and washing your Goran Dragic jersey with a toothbrush because it "just calms you down," but your team isn't going to be competing for a title this spring. Or maybe you haven't watched any sort of basketball, much less the professional version, and your knowledge of the NBA extends no further than Zero Dark Thirty, which goes to show how little you know, because that movie is mostly not about basketball. Either way, you need to figure out which squad you should be pulling for through the remainder of the season and the playoffs, and I'm here to help you figure out which squad that is. There are five teams in the Western Conference more or less certain to make the playoffs, and five more in the West who have the potential. Read on to figure out which of those 10 deserve your love and support and toothbrushing.
Speed Freaks Should Root For: The Houston Rockets
Image by Frank Franklin II / AP
Emblematic Player: James Harden
The Houston Rockets play fast. Like, really fast. Like, "Oh, defense? Does that mean it'll take us an extra second to get to the rim? Fuck that" fast. But the Rockets do this well, meaning that, between James "Jim" Harden's all-around lethal offensive game, Jeremy "Jeremy" Lin's dribble penetration, and the three-point-shooting prowess of Chandler Parsons, Houston is the league's most exciting team. Now, there are a number of different ways to be a speed freak: you watch a lot of NASCAR, or you tend to run everywhere instead of walking, or you have a really jacked-up high-falutin Internet connection, or you take meth. For any and all of these types of human, the Rockets are your team.