James Harden: excellent basketball player, terrible song singer.

To truly be an NBA All-Star, one has to give of oneself fully — you can't just show up and play ball, so to speak. You have to ENTERTAIN. Because, like, you're not going to actually try when you're on the basketball court; this game doesn't matter. The NBA knows this, so they make the players do goofy-as-hell things. For example: prerecording love songs to show on the Jumbotron. (All-Star Weekend does just follow Valentine's Day! It's timely!)

James Harden went first, taking on Rihanna's part from Drake's "Take Care" and sounding like a cat that inhaled helium before being dragged through a car wash.

Carmelo Anthony went next, and he wasn't much better on Adele's "Someone Like You." In fact, the word "better" should have a restraining order against Carmelo Anthony's singing voice.

Dwyane Wade MESSES UP THE WORDS TO "CALL ME MAYBE." At this point, more Americans know the words to "Call Me Maybe" than the Pledge of Allegiance.

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