Florida State's Michael Snaer is only 22, but his career highlights are novella-length.
Here's Michael Snaer, the 22-year-old senior who leads Florida State in scoring. Tonight, he faces No. 3 Miami (FL).
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Fans looking to learn about the suddenly-relevant Hurricanes' opponent tonight might think, "hey, maybe I'll read up about these Seminoles on their official website."
Here's hoping they started on the bio days ago, since it checks in at a brain-melting 15,091 words.
Buckle your seat belts, kids. This could take a while.
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First up, RECORD WATCH, which clocks in at a measly 257 words. Surely, we can do better.
Note the insane expectations of the opening line.