Demon slaying is involved.
Image by Tony Avelar / AP
Image by Streeter Lecka / Getty Images
Image by Tony Avelar / AP
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Watch it over and over and over and over… GIFs are the new instant replay.
The Ravens came out of the gate strong, the 49ers came back, but then the Ravens sealed the deal. Here's how it happened.
I'm just…so uncomfortable.
Do you want to see your grandparents throw a rager to a Spanish version of Fun's "We Are Young"? Me neither. This one made our whole office uncomfortable.
Source: hulu.com
Personally, I would not be made happier by having a white colleague put on a stereotypical Jamaican voice all the time. That would make me cringe. And feel strange. Like this ad did.
Source: hulu.com
This ad isn't offensive so much as it's weird and raises bizarre questions. For instance: why are all these grown men dressing like women to get Doritos? Do none of them have jobs that would allow them to buy their own Doritos?
Source: hulu.com
Hot woman making out with nerdy guy! INSANELY HILARIOUS!
Source: hulu.com
There is some confusion as to whether or not Ravens fans are rioting in the streets of Baltimore right now. Either way, what is clear, is that the city is packed with people celebrating.
Source: instagr.am
Source: instagr.am
Source: instagr.am
Source: instagr.am
Handicrafts and sports are not mutually exclusive passions.
Source: instagram.com
Source: instagram.com
Source: instagram.com
Source: instagram.com
This is what pure joy looks like.
Image by Paul Morse/MCT
Image by Win McNamee / Getty Images
Image by Dilip Vishwanat / Getty Images
Image by Chris Graythen / Getty Images
In the order they appeared during the game. The winner? This print ad tweeted by Oreo . I also give one-sentence reviews.
Summoned the bile from my stomach and dead from my brain.
I don't like M&M's in my meatloaf, or vice versa.
Car = PENIS.
One of the least terrible ads of the evening.
Even if your team just won the Super Bowl.
Source: youtube.com
Ever think the referee is being paid to cheat your favorite team? That may have been the case.
Image by Paolo Bruno / Getty Images
A 19-month investigation has uncovered a massive, intercontinental soccer match-fixing scandal that generated millions of dollars in betting profits. A Singaporean crime syndicate altered the course of a total of 680 matches — mostly occuring in Europe, and including World Cup qualifiers and Champions League games — by bribing match officials and players. The operation, which had been under investigation since July 2011, was the work of at least 425 people, according to The New York Times, and generated an overall betting profit of more than 8 million euros.
A complete list of the fixed matches hasn't been released, but one stunning example of a referee fixing a match was presented — in an Under-20 match between Argentina and Bolivia in 2010, a Hungarian referee inexplicably awards Argentina a penalty to ensure an Argentine win and benefit the bettors.
This wasn't just a scandal impacting far-flung leagues — 70 matches in Germany were named in the report, and one in England.
Most likely to succeed! Probably a witch! Saddest walrus! They're all here.
With the Baltimore Ravens winning the Super Bowl, the 2012-2013 NFL season has come to a close. But we will remember it fondly, and our remembrances in particular will have to do with these 18 guys/teams/tattoos who made the year what it was. Cue the Vitamin C graduation song while you read it, because football is very, very sentimental. I am literally crying right now.
Image by Jeff Haynes / Reuters
Much like how the first cut is the deepest, this first award is the easiest: Nobody has shit on Adrian Peterson's 2012 season. In less than a year, Purple Jesus went from having his knee Eli Roth-ed to running like a buffalo on Adderall, and he carried a Vikings team with Jason Biggs at quarterback all the way into the playoffs. His 2,097 yards this season were the second-most by a running back of all time, missing the record by only nine yards, also known as the length Adrian Peterson moves in his sleep thanks to sheer momentum. Adrian Peterson is the Perpetual Motion Machine.
Image by Dean Rutz/Seattle Times/MCT
Somebody get a broom.
Via: @machinegunbrian
Image by Steven M. Falk/Philadelphia Daily News/MCT
H/T @machinegunbrian
The Ravens fan complied. This is how real Americans celebrate.
H/T Dom Consentino at Deadspin
Because it's only 213 days until the NFL returns to all our lives.
GOOD BET: They've got WR Justin Blackmon and the No. 2 pick in the draft!
BAD BET: They're the Jacksonville Jaguars.
Image by Joe Howell / AP
GOOD BET: This may finally be the season RB Darren McFadden plays more than 13 games.
BAD BET: The Chiefs have a brighter immediate future. (Yeesh.)
Image by Lenny Ignelzi / AP
GOOD BET: Jake Locker gives the Titans a legit QB option not seen since the days of McNair.
BAD BET: Can Chris Johnson return to CJ2K levels of dominance? Outlook hazy.
Image by Wade Payne / AP
GOOD BET: New coach Doug Marrone will lean heavily on C.J. Spiller and his team's sixth-ranked rushing attack ...
BAD BET: ... but his 21st-ranked scoring offense will continue to struggle mightily.
Image by Bill Wippert / AP
From Nabokov to Varlamov to Bryzgalov, and everywhere in between.
Goalie masks are one of the coolest aspects of hockey — they allow the guys clad in big, goofy-looking pads and obscured by an enormous helmet to express a bit of their personality in just about any way they can dream up. Still, some masks are better than others.
Cool skull creature, Evgeni. Is that the Montauk Monster?
Image by David Pokress/Newsday/MCT
It looks like the cover of a Goosebumps book. Do the eyes light up?
Image by The Canadian Press, Darryl Dyck / AP
The Ravens' victory was watched by 108.4 million viewers, making it the third-watched TV program of all time. That excludes the blackout, though.
Beyonce performs during the halftime show of the NFL Super Bowl XLVII football game between the San Francisco 49ers and the Baltimore Ravens, Sunday, Feb. 3, 2013, in New Orleans.
Image by Matt Slocum / AP
Brother versus brother, Beyoncé, the blackout, a sort of comeback: Yesterday's Super Bowl seemed interesting at the time, but now it just looks like a mess, right?
The ratings were massive: 108.4 million viewers. It was the third most-watched television program of all time. (Last year's game is No. 1 with an audience of 111.3 million; 2011's Super Bowl drew 111 million.) That number excluded the blackout period, though, so it's a good thing that Super Bowl XLVII didn't break records, because there would forever be an asterisk on it. Nielsen and CBS can exclude that half hour because the network didn't air first-run commercials. So in case you were wondering why the network didn't take advantage of the boring fallow period during which the broadcasters were pitifully vamping by airing a zillion ads, that is why. People did tune back in when the lights came back on: The ratings peaked at the end, when 113.9 million viewers watched between 10:30–10:47 p.m. ET.
Elementary, the Sherlock Holmes mystery that got the lucky post-game berth, suffered from the length of the game. Not that 20.8 million viewers is anything to sneeze at, but that makes it the second-lowest post–Super Bowl episode ever. The lowest, as noted here, was Alias in 2003, with 17.4 million viewers. Both Elementary and Alias were hampered by starting out of prime time on the East Coast: Elementary began at 11:11 p.m. ET.
This is how it happened.
Image by Mike Segar / Reuters
Image by Jeff Haynes / Reuters
Image by Dave Martin / AP
