“I've made a huge mistake…”
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H/T @missannielynn
Have a bachelor's degree and some coaching experience? Apply now.
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Chip Kelly spurned the University of Oregon today to become the new head coach of the Philadelphia Eagles (just a few days after he said he wasn't interested). Instead of wallowing in sorrow, Oregon has already posted a public job listing for a new head football coach, which all universities typically do when there is a vacancy, to comply with regulations.
To become the new head football coach at Oregon, you must have at least a bachelor's degree (though a preferred field of study isn't listed, so you art history majors are in the clear), and at least five years of "successful professional/collegiate coaching experience." If you've helped out on your nephew's pee-wee team, though, that could probably pass as an equivalent. People falsify information on job applications all the time. Chip Kelly had never been a head coach before he was given the top job at Oregon, and look how he turned out.
The listed responsibilities include promoting an "atmosphere of compliance," developing a football budget, and recruiting student-athletes, among other things. Winning is not listed as a reponsibility. Bottom line: If Ted Roof can keep finding jobs, so can you. To apply, send a letter of interest, your résumé, and three references to the Oregon athletic director.
Via: jobs.uoregon.edu
Did not see that coming.
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Source: urbandictionary.com
You can buy one at CollegeSmak.com if you're into having balls on your shirt, I guess.
According to Deadspin, Manti Te'o — Notre Dame's star linebacker and a Heisman trophy finalist — was involved in a yearlong hoax regarding a fake girlfriend who died of leukemia.
Manti Te'o is one of the best college football players in the country, a presumed first-round pick in the NFL draft, and the captain and star linebacker for Notre Dame, the storied program that lost in this year's National Championship against Alabama. And, according to a Deadspin report by Jack Dickey and Tim Burke published today, Te'o might have been involved in one of the strangest, most blood-chilling hoaxes in sports history.
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Well done, Twitter. Well done.
Image by Reuters
The other Notre Dame.
Via: notredame.edu
Via: notredame.edu
Image by Houston Chronicle, Melissa Phillip / AP
“I'm reattaching my jaw. It's one of the weirdest, saddest stories I've ever come across.”
Here's the full story of Manti Te'o and his fake girlfriend, which he's calling a hoax he fell victim to.
From Te'o:
He described her as the "most beautiful girl I've ever met" and "someone that you talk to every single day."
Wojciechowski:
"You have to question his judgment, his character, his honesty, even."
"Short of asking to see a death certificate, i'm not sure what most people would do differently in that case. But in researching it before I wrote the script, I remember trying to find an obituary for his girlfriend and could not."
Wojciechowski asked to speak to Kekua's family and see photos of her and Te'o said her family would prefer not to.
Wojciechowski wondered why Notre Dame didn't get ahead of the story.
Also: a fullback on the Arizona Cardinals claims to know the girl everyone now agrees is fake. This story could not get any more bizarre.
Jack Swarbrick (left), athletic director, and Rev. John I. Jenkins, president of the University of Notre Dame, stand on the sidelines during the Fighting Irish's game against Brigham Young.
Image by Joe Raymond / AP
Wednesday night, the University of Notre Dame's athletic director, Jack Swarbrick, gave a press conference regarding Deadspin's made-up-dead-girlfriend-hoax story surrounding star linebacker, Heisman Trophy candidate, and ND student Manti Te'o. Here are the essential elements of the bizarre press conference (all quotes are Jack Swarbrick unless specified otherwise):
— The situation was "a very elaborate, very sophisticated hoax perpetrated for reasons we can't fully understand but had a certain cruelty at its core."
— Te'o was the "perfect mark" for the hoax "because he is a guy so willing to believe in others and so willing to help."
— Swarbrick still has complete faith in Te'o, and the University stands by his story 100%.
— "On the morning of Dec. 26, very early morning, Manti called his coaches to inform them that, while he was in attendance at the ESPN awards show in Orlando, he received a phone call from a number he recognized as having been that he associated with Lennay Kekua. When he answered it, it was a person whose voice sounded like the same voice he had talked to, who told him that she was, in fact, not dead."
— An independent investigation firm representing Te'o conducted its own look into the proceedings and was scheduled to release its findings next week.
— Swarbrick likened it to Catfish, both the film and the MTV show, and said the hoax followed the same arc as those hoaxes did.
— Investigators found online chatter showing what Swarbrick called the "perpetrators taking joy" in the hoax.
— Swarbrick said, and reaffirmed multiple times, that Te'o had told him he had never met Lennay Kekua in person, and that their relationship began when Kekua reached out to Te'o online and continue exclusively online and by phone.
— Kekua set up meetings with Te'o, then never showed.
— There are multiple individuals portraying an even greater number of imaginary characters hoaxing Te'o, and that until he received the call on Dec. 26, Te'o had believed everything to be real.
— "What's real or what's not is a more complex question than I can get into," which is an existential question that you don't hear too often at sports pressers.
— Swarbrick never mentioned the individual Deadspin identified as the creator of the hoax, Ronaiah Tuiasosopo, and also claimed that the perpetrators of the hoax were not friends of Teo's, as Deadspin suggested Tuiasosopo was.
— Head coach Brian Kelly, defensive coordinator Bob Diaco, Swarbrick, and possibly a few other players were the only Notre Dame athletics personnel who knew about the hoax between Dec. 26 and now.
— Swarbrick was brought to tears over the course of the presser.
Here's the full text of Swarbrick's press conference. Obviously, this is just Notre Dame and Te'o's story at this point — there's no reason to believe it has any more validity than that of Deadspin's. Swarbrick said he believes that Te'o will hold his own press conference tomorrow to elaborate.
And of course, this isn't the only weird additional wrinkle to come out tonight. A fullback on the Arizona Cardinals named Reagan Mauia claims that he knew Lennay Kekua, who almost everyone agrees at this point does not exist. According to ESPN, "When told by a reporter that she apparently might not have existed, Mauia said: 'No, she is real.'"
Stay tuned, folks.
The Notre Dame athletic director says they were informed of the possibly hoax by Te'o on December 26. In January 3rd press conference Te'o responded to a question about his girlfriend.
Te'o's response focuses on the support system he has around him and how the sport helped him take his mind off things. The generic answer leaves the question open about whether he was speaking about dealing with the hoax or with the supposed death of his girlfriend at the time
TRANSCRIPT: "I think whenever you're in football, it takes your mind off a lot of things. You know, this team is very special to me, and the guys on it have always been there for me, through the good times and the bad times. I rarely have a quiet time to myself because I always have somebody calling me, asking, do you want to go to the movies. Coach is always calling me asking me, "Are you okay? Do you need anything?" I have three roommates, Zeke, Carlo and Robby Toma, who are always yelling at each other, who's going to play Call of Duty. I'm rarely by myself, and that's how I like it. I'm always around my guys, always around my family."
Well, this is odd.
Source: @jayRahz
Source: @jayRahz
Source: @jayRahz
Source: @jayRahz
It's easy to do. Just put your arm around an imaginary girlfriend and voila: “Te'oing.”
The Donald tweeted congratulations to Deadspin for their amazing Manti Te'o scoop . Deadspin's response was perfection.
The most fun, super-reasonable drinking game you'll ever play.
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The first part of Lance Armstrong's confessional with Oprah Winfrey will air tonight on the Oprah Winfrey Network at 9 p.m. ET. Since it's already been confirmed that Lance will admit to doping during his cycling career, here's the official Lance Armstrong Confession Drinking Game to help spice up the evening.
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Watch all the pieces of the “Lennay Kekua” hoax come together.
H/T Mike Hayes
NOTE: If you created this GIF let us know! We want to give you credit! The watermark says Vincent Vega, but that's a character's name from Pulp Fiction so we don't know who you are!
If Cosmopolitan knows anything…it's sex positions.
Source: cosmopolitan.com
“You say you moved on and found a new broski / but I don't want you back, girl, because you are a hoeski.”
Source: youtube.com
Via: @ZackRyder
(h/t @Chillhartman)
An unflattering comparison.
Brian Kelly and ND athletic director Jack Swarbrick.
Image by Frank Polich / Getty Images
As noted by writers from Salon and Jezebel this morning, Notre Dame's reaction to Manti Te'o's claim that he had been hoaxed online has been quite different than its reaction to the accusations of sexual assault made against a football player by Lizzy Seeberg, a student from another South Bend college who committed suicide 10 days after the alleged incident in September 2010. Before her suicide, Seeberg had received a text message from another football player warning her that "messing with Notre Dame football is a bad idea." Seeberg had a history of depression but had never before attempted suicide or made an accusation of sexual assault.
Notre Dame's response to Seeberg's accusation:
— Police waited 13 days to interview the accused perp (that's three days after Seeberg died), who was eventually found "not responsible" for misbehavior by a disciplinary board.
— The university president refused to meet with her parents, claiming it would undermine his impartiality in the event he had to make a decision related to the case.
— Coach Brian Kelly made light of the number of Chicago Tribune reporters asking him about the case.
— A university official and a trustee allegedly spread rumors that Seeberg was a liar who was in fact sexually aggressive toward the player she accused on the night in question.
Notre Dame's response to Te'o's allegation that he'd been falsely led to believe he had a girlfriend on the Internet:
— The athletic department hired private investigators to look into the matter.
— The school held a press conference the night the news broke at which it denied that its player was complicit in the hoax.
— The school held a press conference at which its athletic director called the situation "a really frightening experience" and "an incredible tragedy."
— The school held a press conference at which its athletic director called the situation "an incredible tragedy" and began crying.
As far as we know right now, there's nothing wrong per se with the way that Notre Dame has handled the Te'o incident. And if Te'o really was just a victim of emotional manipulation, it would be hard not to feel a little sorry for him. Nonetheless, comparing the level of urgency and sympathy demonstrated by school authorities in the two cases, it's also hard not to agree with critics who say the school could have done far more for Seeberg than it did.
(Read much more about the Seeberg case, and Notre Dame's history of dealing with sexual assault and rape cases, here and here.)
In the first part of his interview with Oprah, Lance Armstrong finally acknowledges that he cheated.
