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17 Jokes You'll Find Funny If You're A Man United Fan

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We asked Man United fans to take the piss out of Liverpool fans, and here’s what happened…

With Manchester United playing Liverpool this weekend, we asked Man United fans if they wanted to take the piss out of Liverpool fans on BuzzFeed. (They Did)...

With Manchester United playing Liverpool this weekend, we asked Man United fans if they wanted to take the piss out of Liverpool fans on BuzzFeed. (They Did)...

This first submission very much set the tone.

BuzzFeed

All the submissions seemed to centre around a strong theme.

All the submissions seemed to centre around a strong theme.

BuzzFeed

This one probably wouldn't be that much of a surprise.

This one probably wouldn't be that much of a surprise.

BuzzFeed

Not sure about the price of this...

Not sure about the price of this...

BuzzFeed / IKEA


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Can You Identify These Famously Awful Premier League Footballers?

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If they can get a game then maybe there’s still hope for you?

We Know Which Quidditch Position You Would Play

Serena Williams Upset By Roberta Vinci During US Open Semifinals

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“Sorry guys,” Vinci said in the post-match interview. “This is the best day of my life.”

Serena Williams was eliminated from the 2015 U.S. Open on Friday during a dramatic semifinal match against unseeded Roberta Vinci.

Serena Williams was eliminated from the 2015 U.S. Open on Friday during a dramatic semifinal match against unseeded Roberta Vinci.

Don Emmert / AFP / Getty Images

The match went to three sets, with Williams taking the first set then dropping the second two for a final score of 2-6, 6-4, 6-4.

Vinci advanced to the semifinals after beating 40th-ranked Kristina Mladenovic in the quarters. She will now face Flavia Pennetta for the title.

Vinci advanced to the semifinals after beating 40th-ranked Kristina Mladenovic in the quarters. She will now face Flavia Pennetta for the title.

Don Emmert / AFP / Getty Images

Vinci is currently ranked 43rd in the world and is a five-time Grand Slam champion in women's doubles. She also has a career Grand Slam in doubles, which only five women's pairs have achieved. Vinci had faced Serena four times previously and had never beaten her — and had never even taken a set off her, according to ESPN.

"Sorry guys," Vinci said in the post-match interview. "This is the best day of my life."


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Roberta Vinci Wins Hearts After Upsetting Serena Williams At US Open

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“Sorry, everyone.”

Roberta Vinci, an unseeded Italian tennis player, pulled off a stunning upset against top-seeded Serena Williams Friday at the US Open — an outcome not even she expected.

Roberta Vinci, an unseeded Italian tennis player, pulled off a stunning upset against top-seeded Serena Williams Friday at the US Open — an outcome not even she expected.

Julio Cortez / AP

"Serena is an incredible player, so this is the best moment of my life," Vinci said in a post-match interview on the court.

Vinci, playing in her first Grand Slam semifinal, won the match 2-6, 6-4, 6-4, ending Williams' highly touted effort to become the first player since Steffi Graf in 1988 to win a calendar year Grand Slam.

To that, Vinci had, of all things, an endearing apology: "Sorry everyone."

Vinci went on, in between rounds of growing applause from the stands, to acknowledge the collective let-down Williams fans were surely feeling in the moment of what she felt was her own greatest professional achievement.

"For the American people, for Serena, for the Grand Slam and everything — but today is my day," she said. "Sorry, guys."

During the match, Vinci had even appealed to the crowd to not count her out as an underdog without a chance.

vine.co

Asked what her strategy was against Williams, Vinci said it was all about "my fight, my game."

"My mind say, 'Put the balls in the court…don't think about the Serena on the other court,'" Vinci said.

And that she did, no matter how hard Williams tried to change up her strategy against the unrelenting Italian with swift, sharp moves.


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NYPD Video Shows Officer Tackling Former Tennis Star James Blake

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On Wednesday, Blake was tackled and handcuffed after being mistaken for a credit card fraud suspect. NYPD Commissioner Bill Bratton personally apologized on Thursday.

The New York Police Department released video on Thursday showing a plainclothes officer tackling retired tennis star James Blake outside a Manhattan hotel.

youtube.com

The officer — later identified by the New York Post as James Frascatore — mistook Blake for a suspect in a credit card fraud scheme. The former tennis pro was waiting for a car to head to the U.S. Open outside the Grand Hyatt Hotel in Midtown Manhattan when the officer sprinted at him, grabbed, him, pushed him against a column, then tackled him to the ground.

At no point in the video of the incident does Blake appear to resist.

In a statement released Friday, Blake said: "I know what happened to me is not uncommon."

NYPD Commissioner Bill Bratton and New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio each made phone calls to Blake on Thursday to apologize for the incident, which Blake said he "greatly appreciate[s]."

"But extending courtesy to a public figure mistreated by the police is not enough," Blake said in his statement. "As I told the commissioner, I am determined to use my voice to turn this unfortunate incident into a catalyst for change in the relationship between the police and the public they serve."

Blake suggested to the commissioner that the City of New York "make a significant financial commitment to improving the relationship particularly in those neighborhoods where incidents of the type I experienced occur all too frequently."

De Blasio and Bratton also issued a joint statement Friday, stating an investigation would look at "what contributed to the errors made" and pointing out that thousands of officers have been retrained to improve community relationships.

De Blasio and Bratton also issued a joint statement Friday, stating an investigation would look at "what contributed to the errors made" and pointing out that thousands of officers have been retrained to improve community relationships.

New York Police Commissioner Bill Bratton.

Kevin Hagen / AP

"This Administration takes the mission of bringing the police and the community closer together very seriously," the statement read. "It's why we have invested in new technology and developed new strategies that feature the most focused neighborhood policing efforts ever applied in a major city."

According to the statement, complaints to the department's Civilian Complaint Review Board are down to the lowest levels in 14 years, and the administration "will continue to vigorously implement these reforms that build trust and respect between police officers and the people they serve."

"And we both stand ready to meet with Mr. Blake to further discuss these issues and initiatives."


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Just A Friendly Reminder Serena Williams Is Still The Most Important Tennis Player In The History Of The Game

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In case you forgot.

For asking, "Are you looking at my titles?":

For asking, "Are you looking at my titles?":

In 2009, Williams was ranked No. 3 in the world, despite having won 11 Grand Slams to top-ranked Dinara Safina's zero. Williams' shirt was an unsubtle dig at the arbitrary foolishness of the WTA's ranking system.

USTA / Via youtube.com

For answering dumb, sexist questions in press conferences with the honesty they deserve:

For answering dumb, sexist questions in press conferences with the honesty they deserve:

Perhaps "why aren't you smiling?" can officially retire as a go-to ask of females, in any context.

Facebook: Squintz83 / Via buzzfeed.com

For her decision to boycott, and later overcome, Indian Wells:

For her decision to boycott, and later overcome, Indian Wells:

In 2001, a teenage Serena was booed relentlessly during her Indian Wells victory match over Kim Clijsters. She vowed never to return, but in 2015 she wrote in an article for Time, "Thirteen years and a lifetime in tennis later, things feel different. A few months ago, when Russian official Shamil Tarpischev made racist and sexist remarks about Venus and me, the WTA and USTA immediately condemned him. It reminded me how far the sport has come, and how far I've come too."

Mark J. Terrill / AP

For the undeniable gulf between her ability and the rest of her competition:

For the undeniable gulf between her ability and the rest of her competition:

The No. 1 world player is arguably without a true competitor. Maria Sharapova, who once ousted Williams in 2004, lost the following 17 times they met on the court.

Pavel Golovkin / AP


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Flavia Pennetta Wins The 2015 U.S. Open, Announces Retirement

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Pennetta beat out Roberta Vinci in the championship match, winning her first, and last, major title in two sets on Saturday.

Flavia Pennetta won the 2015 U.S. Open against Roberta Vinci in an all-Italian championship match, an unexpected matchup between two friendly rivals that surprised spectators to the very end.

Flavia Pennetta won the 2015 U.S. Open against Roberta Vinci in an all-Italian championship match, an unexpected matchup between two friendly rivals that surprised spectators to the very end.

Usa Today Sports / USA Today Sports

"Before I start this tournament, I take a big decision in my life," she said before receiving the cup. "And this is the way I'd like to say goodbye to tennis."

"Before I start this tournament, I take a big decision in my life," she said before receiving the cup. "And this is the way I'd like to say goodbye to tennis."

Peter Morgan / AP

The 26th seed Italian beat Vinci in an energetic match. Both players were fighting for points on the court during the first set, but it was in the second that Pennetta seemed poised to win the title.

Both players had surprised the sporting world by securing a spot at the championship match, beating out their share of tennis heavyweights to make it to the final match.

On Friday, Vinci beat Serena Williams in a shocking upset.


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Steven Gerrard Has Spoken At Length About Cutting His Penis Open

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The harrowing account of the Liverpool legend’s injury makes for difficult reading.

Liverpool and England legend Steven Gerrard has spoken in gory detail about the time he tore his penis open in a football match.

Liverpool and England legend Steven Gerrard has spoken in gory detail about the time he tore his penis open in a football match.

Clive Brunskill / Getty Images

Stevie G's autobiography is being released soon, and in promotion of the new book, extracts are being serialised in the The Daily Mail.

Stevie G's autobiography is being released soon, and in promotion of the new book, extracts are being serialised in the The Daily Mail.

This particular extract is difficult to read:

"The magic of the FA Cup was bloodied on the day my penis was cut and then stitched shut on an unromantic afternoon in Bournemouth last year."

OK, that's enough information, Stevie, thanks.

Andrew Powell / Getty Images

Oh no, wait. It doesn't end there.

Oh no, wait. It doesn't end there.

"It was eye-watering. I tried to close down a winger to block his cross but felt a stinging in my privates. I thought, 'Shit — that doesn't feel right!' It was stinging like fuck."

Cool. Well that's enough about that then, Steven.

Andrew Powell / Getty Images

Nope, nope. It doesn't even end there...

Nope, nope. It doesn't even end there...

"The gash looked pretty bad, right across the middle. There was plenty of blood. I needed four stitches and the lads were absolutely pissing themselves."

Andrew Powell / Getty Images


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British Football Fans Fly "Refugees Welcome" Banners Across The Country

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Fans show their support for the campaign, while Arsenal FC are donating £1 from every ticket to Save the Children.

And the players wore training t-shirts featuring details of how fans can donate the campaign.

And the players wore training t-shirts featuring details of how fans can donate the campaign.

Clive Rose / Getty Images


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Chelsea Fans Are Calling For Mourinho To Be Sacked After Woeful Form

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People on Twitter are not being kind to the Chelsea manager.

But he wasn't counting on this man... to be fair none of us were counting on this man.

But he wasn't counting on this man... to be fair none of us were counting on this man.

Steven Naismith came on as a sub after just nine minutes, replaced the injured Besic. And it wasn't long before he found the back of the net after a superb piece of skill and a cheeky one-two.

Alex Livesey / Getty Images


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Pro Basketball Hall Of Famer Moses Malone Dies At 60

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Malone in 2001.

Chris Gardner / ASSOCIATED PRESS

Moses Malone, the former star basketball player for the Philadelphia 76ers who was named the NBA's most valuable player three times during his stellar career, has died aged 60, his former team said Sunday.

In a statement that did not provide details of Malone's death, the Philadelphia 76ers said the team and its supporters were mourning the "sudden loss" of the Pro Basketball Hall of Famer.

"It is difficult to express what his contributions to this organization — both as a friend and player — have meant to us, the city of Philadelphia, and his faithful fans," the statement read.

"Moses holds a special place in our hearts and will forever be remembered as a genuine icon and pillar of the most storied era in the history of Philadelphia 76ers basketball."

A key part of the 76ers' 1983 championship team, the 6-foot-10 center player became known as the "Chairman of the Boards" during his 20-season career because of his legendary rebound skills.

According to ESPN, Malone was one of just four NBA players in history to accumulate 25,000 points and 15,000 rebounds over his basketball career. The only other players to earn this scoring distinction include Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, Wilt Chamberlain, and Elvin Hayes.

Malone at his former high school in 1974

AP Photo

Born in Petersburg, Virginia, in 1955, Malone proved a dominant force on the court from a young age.

As he led his high-school team to 50 straight victories and two state championships, opponents refused to play the team unless he stayed out of free throw lane during pickup games.

At 19, he became the first player to ascend directly from his local high school team to the ABA league, joining the Utah Stars.

When the ABA folded, he was absorbed into the NBA, quickly becoming a star player and helping lead the Houston Rockets to the 1981 finals.

He was named the NBA's Most Valuable Player in 1979, 1982, and 1983.

Although best known for his team in Houston and Philadelphia, Malone also played for the Washington Bullets, Atlanta Hawks, and San Antonio Spurs during his career.

Malone playing the Boston Celtics in 1985.

Charlie Krupa / AP

He eventually retired following the 1994-95 season, having averaged 20.6 points per game and 12.2 rebounds.

"His generosity, towering personality and incomparable sense of humor will truly be missed," the 76ers said in their statement.

"We will keep his family in our thoughts and prayers and as we are once again reminded of the preciousness of life," the team said.

Houston Rockets owner Leslie Alexander also released a statement mourning Malone's death. "Moses was a true gentleman and one of the great Rockets — and greatest NBA players — of all time," Alexander said.

Other players and teams also paid tribute to Malone on Twitter:

View Video ›

facebook.com


Someone Please Teach The BBC How Tennis Works; They Keep Reporting Hingis Won Doubles Matches Alone

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Sania Mirza was kinda there too, you guys.

Sania Mirza and Martina Hingis bagged their second consecutive Grand Slam title after winning the US Open women's doubles on Sunday.

Sania Mirza and Martina Hingis bagged their second consecutive Grand Slam title after winning the US Open women's doubles on Sunday.

Al Bello / Getty Images

Several media outlets reported the news:

Several media outlets reported the news:

Via google.co.in


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Marco Rubio Is A Serious Football Trash Talker

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Seminole smash.

Phil Coale / ASSOCIATED PRESS

Rubio is a graduate of the University of Florida. Florida State University is UF's biggest football rival.

Listen to the audio:

w.soundcloud.com

As House Speaker in Florida, Rubio once dropped a pass from UF star quarterback Tim Tebow (he caught two other throws).

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Here Are Some Things The NFL Will And Won't Suspend You For


Startup Says It's Not Responsible For Pointing NYPD To James Blake

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GoButler just raised $8 million in financing from Ashton Kutcher and other tech investors.

Maddie Meyer / Getty Images

Last week, retired tennis star James Blake was tackled by a plainclothes New York City police officer who mistook Blake for a suspect in a three-man credit card fraud ring. The NYPD said the individual who identified Blake as the suspect — pointing to him from eight feet away — was a courier for GoButler, an on-demand app that recently raised $8 million from Ashton Kutcher and other tech investors. A sting was set up after the virtual-assistant startup complained to the NYPD about suspicious behavior and agreed to help identify the fraudsters, who were observed during previous deliveries where the suspects used allegedly fraudulent credit cards.

The NYPD asked to "supervise a delivery" if the trio made another purchase. When the suspects ordered designer shoes via GoButler delivered to the concierge desk at the Grand Hyatt Hotel in Manhattan, a team of undercover officers accompanied the courier. Blake was staying at the hotel and standing outside waiting for a car to take him to the U.S. Open when he was body-slammed by Officer James Frascatore. The NYPD claims that Blake was mistaken for one of the suspects during the sting based on a photo provided by GoButler and the courier's incorrect identification.

The NYPD released a video of the arrest, in which you can see Officer Frascatore run at Blake from off-camera. Robert Boyce, the NYPD's chief detective, told the New York Times that one of the suspects met the courier and was arrested immediately. Then the courier "pointed to Mr. Blake from eight feet away" as another member of the fraud ring, said Boyce. The second suspect was later arrested inside the hotel.

In a news conference on Thursday, Police Commissioner William Bratton apologized to Blake "on behalf of the city of New York." At the same conference, Boyce said GoButler gave the NYPD an Instagram photo from a social media account of someone who was thought to be one of the suspects. But the man in the photo, who was later revealed to be Australian designer Sean Satha, also had nothing to do with the alleged fraud. Bratton said that based on that Instagram photo, the suspect and Blake "look like twins," prompting further uproar about racial profiling.

Officer Frascatore, who was put on modified duty and is currently under investigation, is ultimately responsible for the use of force that set off the latest tide of public outrage over police brutality. However, despite comments from the NYPD that its team of officers was "relying on" the courier, GoButler released an official statement disavowing all responsibility for misidentifying Blake, along with a quasi plug for its stress-free services.

The police identified Blake as an individual who looked similar to one of the social media profiles used to purchase items via GoButler. ... While GoButler did not contribute to misidentifying James Blake, we are working to contact him to offer our network of services across the country to eliminate any stress during his future travels.

In response to questions from BuzzFeed News, spokeswoman Bianca McLaren said: "I want to reiterate that GoButler had no role in misidentifying James Blake. This was an isolated incident and the NYPD arrested two people in connection to the alleged fraud."

The suspects, Jarmaine Grey and James Short, were arraigned in criminal court on Thursday. According to the criminal complaint (below) from the Manhattan District Attorney's office, the defendants allegedly used American Express cards to fraudulently purchase Cristal champagne, an iPhone 6, three iPhones worth $2,446.42, and a Louis Vuitton bag, as well as clothing purchases from TaskRabbit and a food order to Five Guys burgers, among other items through GoButler.

Customers use the 24-hour service to text their requests to an operator (the company calls them "heroes") who then finds the outside service providers, like other delivery services, to do the job at no additional charge. The complaint says that the informant who reported the fraud was "an employee" of GoButler. The company would not say whether the courier was an employee or a contractor.


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Ronda Rousey Beat The Crap Out Of A Guy On "Ellen" And It Was Awesome

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“I have a bad hip…”

Resident badass and Ultimate Fighting Championship queen Ronda Rousey was a guest on The Ellen DeGeneres Show and decided to give a few pointers to the audience by using a lucky producer as a punching bag.

First up, a ~very special~ O Goshi:

First up, a ~very special~ O Goshi:

EllenTube

Next up, a Juji Gatame, but let's lose the hat first:

Next up, a Juji Gatame, but let's lose the hat first:

EllenTube

The most chill of all time by Ronda.

The most chill of all time by Ronda.

EllenTube


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This Curvy Yogi Is The Most Inspiring Human You'll See All Day

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Every body is a yoga body.

Meet Valerie Sagun, a 28-year-old yogi from San Jose, California.

Meet Valerie Sagun, a 28-year-old yogi from San Jose, California.

Sagun has been practicing hatha yoga for the past four years. Hatha is a set of physical exercises, known as asanas, that are designed to align your skin, muscles, and bones.

Valerie Sagun / Via instagram.com

Sagun started her Instagram Big Gal Yoga a year and a half ago.

Sagun started her Instagram Big Gal Yoga a year and a half ago.

"At first, I only did Tumblr," Sagun tells BuzzFeed Life. "But when I got to 10,000 followers and people asked me to join Instagram, I decided to go for it."

Valerie Sagun / Via instagram.com

And her photos are fly AF.

And her photos are fly AF.

Crow pose? More like queen pose.

Valerie Sagun / Via instagram.com

To start, her yoga wardrobe is TO DIE FOR.

To start, her yoga wardrobe is TO DIE FOR.

"It can be hard for bigger women to find good leggings," she says. But, let's face it, she looks flawless. Sagun swears by her favorite brands Rainbeau Curves and Fractal 9 for comfy, colorful athletic wear.

Valerie Sagun / Via instagram.com


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This Has To Be The Craziest Illusion Ever

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Like, what the hell?

In this video that is now going viral, this guy will literally blow you away with his contact juggling skills. Contact juggling is a form of object manipulation that focuses on the movement of balls in contact with a body. It's absolutely FANTASTIC.

Cool Fun Stuff / Via youtube.com

This is certainly not something you see everyday. HOW IS THAT HAPPENING?

This is certainly not something you see everyday. HOW IS THAT HAPPENING?

Cool Fun Stuff / Via youtube.com

OMG. It's totally just floating from arm to arm, like he's in space.

OMG. It's totally just floating from arm to arm, like he's in space.

Cool Fun Stuff / Via youtube.com

Totally mind blowing!

Totally mind blowing!

Cool Fun Stuff / Via youtube.com


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21 Pumped-Up Photos From The Extreme World Of Amateur Bodybuilding

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Tanning is very important, as are shiny butts.

Brooklyn-based photographer Brian Finke has been photographing the backstage lives of bodybuilders for 12 years.

Brooklyn-based photographer Brian Finke has been photographing the backstage lives of bodybuilders for 12 years.

Brian Finke

In 2003, he was assigned him to cover the Mr Olympia competition in Las Vegas.

In 2003, he was assigned him to cover the Mr Olympia competition in Las Vegas.

Brian Finke

Invented in 1965, Mr Olympia existed basically so that the winners of the Mr Universe competition had somewhere to go beyond Mr Universe.

Invented in 1965, Mr Olympia existed basically so that the winners of the Mr Universe competition had somewhere to go beyond Mr Universe.

Brian Finke

(It’s what the Arnold Schwarzenegger film Pumping Iron is all about – Schwarzenegger’s last competition before retirement, his road to Mr Olympia.)

(It’s what the Arnold Schwarzenegger film Pumping Iron is all about – Schwarzenegger’s last competition before retirement, his road to Mr Olympia.)

Brian Finke


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