What it would look like if your favorite UNC Basketball players were actually puppies?
Tyler Houndsbrough
Bichon May
Sam Perkingese
Dante Calabrador
If Tar Heels Were Puppies
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Basketball Team Ditches Executive Of The Year And Coach Of The Year On Purpose
Salad times in Denver!
Via: David Zalubowski / AP
During the 2012-13 NBA season the Denver Nuggets, a team without the kind of superstar usually required to play at a high level in the NBA, put together a nice third-place Western Conference finish that resulted in an Executive of the Year award for general manager Masai Ujiri and Coach of the Year for George Karl. ANd now they've spent the subsequent offseason dismantling the whole apparatus.
First, they let Ujiri walk to the Toronto Raptors after Toronto reportedly offered him more than double what Denver would. Next came Karl.
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Here's Why The Heat Are Favored In The Finals In One Picture
Yipes.
The Heat just played the Pacers in the Eastern Conference Finals. The Pacers have three outstanding stars in Paul George, Roy Hibbert, and David West.
And that's LeBron James demolishing all of their faces at the same time with a thunder-dunk made of salty death. Good luck, San Antonio.
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MLB's Only Knuckleballer Hits Like A Little Leaguer
Fortunately for the Blue Jays R.A. Dickey is pretty good at everything.
R.A. Dickey is easily one of the quirkiest players in Major League Baseball. The 38-year-old unabashed Star Wars and Lord of the Rings nerd became the first knuckleball pitcher to win the Cy Young award in MLB history last season. Dickey received endless media attention for his impossibly consistent dominance with a pitch that is notoriously untamable, but many people forget he swung a pretty decent bat too.
Like everything else R.A. Dickey does, his approach at the plate is rather unorthodox. Dickey swings a 37-inch, 34-ounce bat which is most likely the largest in the entire league by a considerable margin.
Via: Marcio Jose Sanchez / AP
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An NFL Team In London Would Be America's Final Revenge On The British
A London team would lose pretty much all the time. It would serve them right for taxation without representation, though.
Via: Ben Margot / AP
A lot of smart people think Roger Goodell and the NFL are dead-set on moving the Jacksonville Jaguars — and, failing that, some other, any other team — to London. Keen-eyed readers will have already noted that London is not on the same continent as the rest of the NFL's existing teams. And West Coast squads like the San Francisco 49ers already bemoan their long trips. How do you think they'll like 10+ hour flight to London? Of course, the league can accomodate visiting teams with comforting byes after their trips, as it already does for the teams that play in the NFL's annual Wembley Stadium contest. Playing abroad also gives them a nice marketing opportunity. The bigger problem, though, will be for this London team. They're going to get their asses kicked.
The London Jaguars — let's assume for a moment that this will be their name, though it makes them sound awfully like the New York Red Bulls, i.e. some symphonic marriage of product and opportunity — would play eight games in London and eight games in the continental United States. During the 2012 NFL season, the longest road trip was Seattle flying to Miami to face the Dolphins, a distance of ~2,700 miles; every single London away game would be a longer trip than that. If the league tries to mitigate this by creating lengthy away stints for the Jaguars, they'll be stranding players far away from their native practice facilities and, presumably, families and homes.
What would likely make the most sense logistically is these long road trips, though, making their schedule an absolutely excruciating gauntlet of away games. And even at home, their opponents will constantly be getting up emotionally for a "special" game. The crowning injury might be night games. Historically, teams from the East Coast lose to teams from the West Coast in night contests, because 8:30 pm isn't a natural time to be performing strenuous athletic activity in the first place, and when you factor in the time difference, by the time the game is over the East Coast teams can feel like they're playing at 2:30 in the morning.
Considering London's geographic location, they'll be the ultimate East Coast team. London is five hours behind New York City, meaning that an 8:30 pm EST start would feel like 1:30 am London time to them. Considering the havoc this would wreak on a player's mental and physical performance, it may not even be realistic for the London Jags to play in primetime, and since primetime is regarded as the NFL's premier platform for spotlighting teams and games, that would marginalize its value as a franchise.
At this point, all indications are that Goodell's pretty set on the NFL in London. But — and this doesn't even include issues like luring free agents and coaches out to London — what might be good for league might not be good for the guinea-pig franchise. At least if it cares about winning. Which the Jaguars haven't, traditionally. So I guess they're all set.
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The Horrifying NHL Version Of "127 Hours"
Gregory Campbell’s broken leg epitomizes the NHL’s “Because It’s The Cup” slogan.
The Stanley Cup playoffs bring out a seemingly inhuman level of competitiveness from hockey players. They skate, hit, shoot and work a great deal harder than you ever see during the regular season. Granted, this phenomenon happens in all sports, but never is it more obvious than in hockey.
Via: Jared Wickerham / Getty Images
During the second period of last night's double-overtime thriller between then Pittsburgh and Boston, Bruins center Gregory Campbell layed down to block Evengi Malkin's shot.
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England's Shin-Kicking Championship Is Not For The Thin-Skinned
This post will change your life.
The 401st shin-kicking championships just wrapped up in the English town of Dover's Hill. For the uninitiated, the concept is pretty simple.
You kick at your opponent's legs until they fall.
Event chair Graham Greenall: "It's a skillful sport."
In theory, most people would go down on the first swift strike, so the rules allow for competitors to stuff their pants with straw.
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Why Is This Baseball Fan Covering Their Lips In Sunscreen?
Someone call the NSA.
During Wednesday's Phillies-Marlins game, there was a weird sight to be found in the stands during the 9th inning: a person applying sunscreen. Repeatedly. To their lips. Like lipstick.
This is not how you use sunscreen. What's going on here? Let's enhance.
Enhance.
ENHANCE.
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LeBron's Unselfishness And Tony Parker's Divinity Cost The Heat Game 1
The two key plays that led to a Spurs win in the first game of the NBA Finals.
In Game 1 of the NBA Finals, LeBron James had a characteristically effective night, going for an 18-point, 18-rebound, 10-assist triple-double. But at the game's crucial moment, he deferred.
Of course, the fault here also falls on Chris Bosh, who missed a wide-open three that would have cut the Spurs' lead to one with a minute left. The thing is, Bosh shot only 28% from three-point range this season, even if he's been better in the small-sample size of the postseason. The Heat's chances for points would have been greater if LeBron finished driving to the hoop and tried to draw a foul.
That led to 50 seconds later. Having cut the lead to two, the Heat have LeBron covering Tony Parker. The Spurs' play breaks down, but somehow, Parker's able to fall, recover, and shoot an insane lean-in jumper past the much-bigger James.
At first it was nearly impossible to tell whether Parker got it off in time, but a camera from the opposite baseline revealed that he clearly did. The Spurs got two points, and, up by four with five seconds to go, sealed the deal with ease.
The tremendous play of Parker and Tim Duncan, plus limiting turnovers to a remarkably low four for the game, helped the Spurs edge the Heat in Miami. With the Heat already in a hole, expect Game 2 to be a tense one for LeBron and co.
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Dick Vitale Congratulates Eva Longoria On Her Shady Ex-Husband's Basketball Performance
Go Spurs! (?) (!) (o_o)
Thursday night, Eva Longoria sent out this tweet. It raised some eyebrows since one of the Spurs' stars is Longoria's ex-husband Tony Parker. But Longoria is from Texas and says she's been a Spurs fan her whole life.
And then Dick Vitale responded.
Let's read that again, shall we?
Now: I recognize that Dickie V's a strange bird. (Just look at his Twitter background. Look how he's standing. It's like he's trying to make you impotent.)
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Jim Harbaugh Loves Judge Judy, And Traffic Cops, With An Eloquent Intensity
This dude is intense about everything.
The biggest surprise of the NFL off-season has nothing to do with free agent signings, salary cap casualties or ill-advised drunken escapades. It was San Francisco head coach Jim Harbaugh revealing that he's a huge fan of Judge Judy. Yes, the daytime TV judge that yells at everyone and laughs like a crazy person.
Via: Jason O. Watson / Getty Images
In case you thought his quote was just a bunch of lip-service, check out the familiar faces in the crowd at a recent episode of Judge Judy.
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The Cleveland Indians Decide NOT To Offend People On The Fourth Of July
At least not with their uniforms.
Earlier this week, images of the special Fourth of July Stars and Stripes caps for Major League Baseball were released. Among them, was this, umm, questionable design for the Cleveland Indians.
Not surprisingly, people weren't really on board with the whole idea of a Native American covered in the stars of the American flag, and a source for Major League Baseball is now claiming that New Era released the wrong design, and the Indians will actually be wearing a cap with their alternative logo instead.
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College Baseball Coach Drives Self To Hospital After Heart Attack, Shouts Out Chuck Norris
Pete Hughes making a strong play for legend status.
Via: Michael Shroyer / AP
Just imagine being one of Hughes' baseball players at Virginia Tech.
"Coach, my throat hurts today. And I have an econ exam tomorrow. And my girlfriend just called me. Can I leave practice early?"
"I had a heart attack and drove myself to the hospital."
"I'll grab my glove."
Even Chuck Norris appreciates the shoutout.
Via: Jason Merritt / Getty Images
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Yankees Fan Catches A Foul Ball, Celebrates For About Five Freakin' Hours
A very exciting moment for the young man.
In the top of the third inning of last night's Yankees/Mariners game, a fan caught a foul ball and then proceeded to perform an over-the-top celebration, with moves straight out of a mid-1990s music video, for what seemed like several days.
As you can see, it was a nice grab, and he was super pumped about it.
One high five wasn't enough.
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Basketball Player Answers Completely Normal Question With Reference To Pig Genitals
Um, what?
One of the funniest story lines of the NBA playoffs has been the resurrection of onetime star/ballhog Tracy McGrady as a scrub on the San Antonio Spurs, who are now playing the Heat in the NBA Finals.
Via: Eric Gay / AP
Once a perennial All-Star, McGrady is now filling out the end of the Spurs' bench. A lot of good teams will bring in past-their-prime vets to fill out a roster, the idea being that these guys have been around the block and know how to show up on time, stay ready, and keep quiet in a way a younger, more headstrong player might not.
Basically, teams are hoping that these players will not create bizarre distractions like the one T-Mac created today when a reporter asked him if he's prepared to play major minutes should the Spurs need him to.
Via: Eric Gay / AP
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Please Allow This Crazy Dutch Giant To Tell You How To Win A Bar Fight
BANG, I just slit your throat.
Via: Robin Marchant / Getty Images
Bas Rutten is a retired Dutch MMA fighter and known badass. He was the heavyweight champion of UFC. The fourth sentence in his Wikipedia bio is "As a fighter, one of his favorite tactics was the liver shot." He was once in a movie called The Smashing Machine in which, naturally, he played himself. Bas Rutten will punch your liver in the face.
Rutten is now the host of a few MMA TV shows, one on Fuel TV and the other on AXS.tv. He has an MMA gym in California. He's an accomplished man in his field, is what we're saying.
But nothing Bas Rutten ever does for the rest of his life will be as amazing and incredible as the self-defense bar-fight video he made at what looks like some point in the 1990s. Which you can see below, expertly edited by an anonymous genius from a defunct-looking site called The Guy Network.
When a video featuring a giant Dutch beast-man starts with the phrase "everybody underestimates the kick in the groin," you know you're watching a good video.
Below, a few of our favorite self-defense takeaways.
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The Bruins' Emotional, Dramatic Playoff Run Just Keeps Going
Through hard times and from the brink of elimination, Boston now looks unbeatable.
It's been an emotional, heart-wrenching, and inspiring season for the Boston Bruins, who are one win away from the Stanley Cup Finals. You may ask yourself, well, how did we get here?
Via: Jared Wickerham / Getty Images
A long Bruins playoff run seemed in the offing when the Boston Marathon terror attack threw the city into chaos on April 15. The team's next home game started with an emotional anthem rendition.
But as the city dealt with mammoth challenges, the Bruins ended the season by losing four of the six games that followed.
Via: Jim Rogash / Getty Images
The playoffs started strong. David Krejci's overtime score in Game 4 of Boston's opening-round tilt against Toronto gave the team a 3-1 series lead.
Via: The Canadian Press, Nathan Denette / AP
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The Fastest Man Alive Lost A Race By The Smallest Margin Possible
To an old-ass man (by track standards).
Yesterday, Usain Bolt -- the fastest man that has ever lived -- lost in the 100m final of the Golden Gala in Rome. It was his first major loss in the distance since 2010.
When you're as peerless as Usain Bolt any loss becomes major news, even if it wasn't on the grand stage of the Olympics or World Championships.
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This Is What Making Your First Grand Slam Final In Six Tries Looks Like
Well done, David Ferrer.
But today, Ferrer (a.k.a. The Little Beast) finally broke through to the finals of a Grand Slam, knocking out Frenchman Jo-Wilfried Tsonga 6-1, 7-6 (3), 6-2.
Via: Stephane Mahe / Reuters
Via: Vincent Kessler / Reuters
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Which Manu Ginobili Wizard Pass Is More World-Shattering?
This guy is seriously not human.
Thursday night, the Spurs had a hell of a game to beat the Heat. But two of the top three highlights both came from Manu Ginobili. And they were both passes. Here's the first:
Let's get a little snug with that camera. That's right: Ginobili throws the ball threw Norris Cole's legs. There's no way this could have been on purpose. But it doesn't even matter.
Unbelievably, Manu topped himself later that quarter. Look at the english (spanish?) on this thing.
This is beautiful. I want it woven into a quilt. I want this pass to warm me in the dead of winter.
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